It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update.
Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in office with an…
It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update.
Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in office with an hour commute each way.
I also couldn’t stay at my old job — my last year there I was unceremoniously dumped with a new manager who would jokingly call me “bitch” and once pulled me into her office and pulled her pants to her pantyline to show me her recent procedural bruising. This was on top of the manager before that stating I’d get a promotion if I went above and beyond for a year (clear metrics given) and then telling me at my performance review that not only was I not getting a promotion, he honestly didn’t see my work as valuable. That was a BIG surprise since I had weekly check-ins where I’d ask about how I was progressing. I’d also found out that the leadership team didn’t regard me positively following the promotion conversation. I’d moved into a new role internally with a manager I really liked and respected by the end of that year, but at that point I had some “bad habits” that were very hard to break that prior managers had not mentioned to me.
Given the short amount of time I was provided to respond to the offer and the late notice by which I was alerted that the travel requirement was once per month, they were attempting to provide advice in my best interest. I think they were also cautiously optimistic that my travel anxiety would dissipate as I traveled more, and it would be a momentary bump in the road.
I’m now eight months into role (around six to eight work trips completed), and my flight anxiety hasn’t gotten much better. I ended up having a conversation with my manager about not traveling for a few months, which they accepted but with the caveat that I’d need to figure out strategies to show up more often in the future. I’m still exploring what options are possible, but I tried medication and did CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with a therapist. This has largely restricted my anxiety to the day I purchase my tickets, the week leading up to the flight, and my time on the plane (I know that’s still a lot but it used to be so much worse!). I haven’t tried driving yet, but that’s the next avenue to explore. Ultimately I’ve had to confront what being a non-traveler means for this role and my future career, and the limitations it’ll impose. I still plan to work on this because it has implications for my life more broadly, but in the interim I’ve renewed my job search and am looking at remote positions where HQ is located in my state or adjacent states and is capable of being reached by car in 3.5 hours or less. While this restricts many opportunities, I’m still finding roles that meet the criteria.
Outside of the travel, my relationships with my team and manager have gotten much better! I really like the day to day of the job and my boss thinks I’m doing very well. I also think the work trips I’ve taken so far have been necessary to build the relationships and organizational acumen needed for the role. Being remote has also cured me of my prior burnout! I’ve had so much more time (and money) to pour into my personal life. I’m happier and less anxious now than I was in my prior role. While this job won’t work out in the long run, I’m glad I took it. I’m getting valuable experience and feedback that will set me up nicely for future roles.
Thanks again for the advice!
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← update: do I have to share my story on a “women in industry” panel?