“round, balanced and comforting” … “a lot of interesting characteristics”
We bought this 2025 Coffee Advent Calendar from TheRoastersPack.com, which gave us 25 individual packs of coffee beans, each of which had been roasted by a different Canadian coffee roastery from coast to coast.
Fun! Every day in December we ground up and brewed and debated a different coffee, helped in our journey by the guidebook that came with it.
The booklet included thorough descriptions of each coffee. Tasting notes that reminded me of the somewhat overly pretentious ways that people talk about wine. Notes of this. Hints of that. Suggestions of imaginary flavours that surely had nothing …
“round, balanced and comforting” … “a lot of interesting characteristics”
We bought this 2025 Coffee Advent Calendar from TheRoastersPack.com, which gave us 25 individual packs of coffee beans, each of which had been roasted by a different Canadian coffee roastery from coast to coast.
Fun! Every day in December we ground up and brewed and debated a different coffee, helped in our journey by the guidebook that came with it.
The booklet included thorough descriptions of each coffee. Tasting notes that reminded me of the somewhat overly pretentious ways that people talk about wine. Notes of this. Hints of that. Suggestions of imaginary flavours that surely had nothing whatsoever to do with the drink itself.
After a while, though, we started to notice that the descriptions started to seem … oddly familiar. It quickly became a running gag. What did the booklet say about the coffee that you can also say about me?
So may I present to you a few notes from the guidebook…
Phrases that Describe Not Just Coffee But Also Steve
Carmen Caturra - Rosso Coffee Roasters, Calgary. Balanced Acidity meets a gentle body.
Candy Floss - Escape Coffee, Montreal. Vibrant, a juicy backbone that holds its own. Playful, but also structured.
Gaitania - Alternate Route, Edmonton The body is smooth and rounded, with a lingering, nutty finish.
Gikingo - Café Pista, Montreal Full of comforting sweetness and layered complexity.
Diever Galindez Pink Bourbon - Drumroaster, BC Enough distinct character to place any coffee nerd, with enough boy and sweetness to enjoy with pretty much anybody.
Juan Jose Torres - Za & Klo, Montreal Round, balanced and comforting
Lagoinha - Epoch Chemistry, Moncton Gentle acidity brings harmony between comfort and liveliness.
DOM Chiapas - Modus, Vancouver A lot of interesting characteristics
Keanu - Sorellina, Edmonton A beloved Canadian icon known for his humble attitude, generous soul and dreamy good looks.
OK that last one might have been referring to someone else, but it still syncs up.