- 09 Dec, 2025 *
two and a half storeys up isn’t really a great height for anything - it’s too high to be safe, but not high enough to be properly unsafe, and it’s not quite far enough to escape the realities of being next to a main road. but it’s something.
the view over the rooftops is kind of nice. everything sort of flattens out, and the next major landmarks are just shapes in the darkness. except for the ones that are constantly lit, of course.
the hills are a ragged edge of black against the pale grey of the night sky. a bit to the south, the radio towers blink their soft red lights, not quite in sync but never quite out of it either. once upon a time i would have pointed and called them girlfriends, but the thought feels kind of silly now.
alpha centauri is a cluster o…
- 09 Dec, 2025 *
two and a half storeys up isn’t really a great height for anything - it’s too high to be safe, but not high enough to be properly unsafe, and it’s not quite far enough to escape the realities of being next to a main road. but it’s something.
the view over the rooftops is kind of nice. everything sort of flattens out, and the next major landmarks are just shapes in the darkness. except for the ones that are constantly lit, of course.
the hills are a ragged edge of black against the pale grey of the night sky. a bit to the south, the radio towers blink their soft red lights, not quite in sync but never quite out of it either. once upon a time i would have pointed and called them girlfriends, but the thought feels kind of silly now.
alpha centauri is a cluster of three stars - i said two, but i misremembered - in the constellation of centaurus. not many people know that, but it sounds so obvious when you point it out - of course it is, why else would it be called centauri? most people here know it and beta centauri as the pointers, because the line between them points to the tip of the southern cross. not many people know that one of the pointers is alpha centauri, either.
seven years and two lifetimes ago, this was the basis for a trick that i pulled at the end of a big puzzle i made for some people on the internet. i had so much fun putting that together with some friends, and it’s still one of the silly projects that i am most proud of.
two and a half storeys, obviously, isn’t far enough to get past the constant haze and light pollution of this city. i miss being able to see the stars. i miss the couple of times we drove for hours late at night, trying desperately to catch the auroras. i miss drinking in a tent with some people i loved and complaining about the clouds hiding the meteor shower from us. i’m sorry we never went camping.
i started writing these posts, years ago, because i wanted to try to document my experience of the world in a way that other people could perceive and maybe understand and hopefully get something out of. i picked it up again, this year, because i was inspired by some friends. i stopped because i realised that i’d let that original purpose get twisted beyond recognition.
tonight, though, i wanted to document, for myself if nothing else. i don’t know if anyone else reads these any more, and to be honest i don’t care; despite everything, tonight was nice, and i want to remember it in the future.
besides, this feels like a better note to end on.
goodnight <3
#general [#mental health](https://catgirlsoftware.bearblog.dev/blog/?q=mental health)