• 09 Dec, 2025 *

Introduction

Some crazy stuff past few sessions! Pressure is rising, as the band becomes ever more concerned with containing the Caves of Chaos. I’m glad I directly tied Quasqueton to the Caves with the kobolds—as with the moathouse, it’s cool to have some strategic locations where the party can influence the Caves from outside of the Caves.

RIP Zig! His player was a very good sport about it, and we got him back into the mix quickly. The table’s use of hirelings makes it super easy for people to take over a small group of soldiers, and I always have my stack of pregens. I think I signposted the bell well enough, but maybe my time in the neotrad trenches has left me a little nervous about anything that could read as “rocks fall, everyone dies.”

The response to my funeral rules was positive! The table agreed to award Zig a posthumous share of loot for the funeral expenses, and each player contributed a hefty sum of gold. Combined with the some luxe rolls on the carousing table, everyone scored a lot of extra experience and some minor trinkets. After the funeral XP yield and rewards from carousing, the new elf PC was already 20% of the way to level 2, which feels right.

So grateful that Winifred’s player will drink literally any goo she comes across. We also had a walk-in who joined to play Daniel the Blade. He was literally flying back to the UK the next day, but not before rampaging through a dozen kobolds like a true legend. That’s what it’s all about! Aislinn the companion is also proving to be quite the badass, having survived my solo adventure and now capably run by Glenn’s player.

Going forward I think I’ll be a little stricter about the 1:1 time. While I was super happy with how the crawls went at the table, I do worry that picking up where we left off so often dilutes the identity of the open table/west marches type campaign a bit.

Report

In attendance

• Sir Carrick, level 1 warrior
• Birdy, level 2 wizard
• Hebert G. Baggins, aka Heebie-Jeebie; level 1 halfling
• Zig of the Wolfspear, level 1 dwarf
• Winifred, level 1 thief
• Kaledar, level 2 cleric
• Glenn, level 1 warrior

Featuring special guest Daniel the Blade, level 1 warrior; and introducing Ennyk, (Elf Name Not Yet Known), a level 1 elf!

Aislinn, a level 1 warrior and Glenn’s companion, also joined.

Hirelings include: twelve men-at-arms drawn from Róisín Haregetter’s Woodfolk militias; Hothgar, one of the wizard triplets and lately Carrick fan; and three bandits pressed into service as porters.

The Ogre-whelming Force pressed the siege of Quasqueton, determined to root out the kobolds who had taken up residence in that old fortress. In doing so, the Force would deny the Caves of Chaos a critical stronghold in the region and once again put the monsters on their back foot. The band had pushed through the darkened halls of the fortress, finally arriving at the root of a lonely tower that rose above Quasqueton’s mountain.

An unknown divine light settled up on the brow of one of the men-at-arms, Daniel the Blade! He stepped forward to join the Ogre-whelming Force as an equal, his prodigious brawn sure to be an asset.

Battle was quickly joined in the narrow hallways of Quasqueton.The kobolds had the advantage to start, pelting the band with darts and hurlbats covered in poison and filth. Still, the band pressed forward under a cover of arrows from Aislinn and a firebomb from Heebie-Jeebie.

The kobolds quickly retreated when the full extent of the Force was revealed. As they sealed the door to the tower behind themselves, they forced a hose under the doorjamb and the room filled with the stench of alcohol.

Zig and Daniel grew intoxicated from the fumes, and Carrick quickly snuffed his now-raging torch. But for some quick knot-tying from Heebie-Jeebie, the room would have erupted into drunken flames.

Daniel, still drunk and convinced of his own charm, stuck his head into the hall beyond the door and was greeted with poison darts for his trouble. Glenn and Aislinn pushed through and killed the two kobolds in wait, then the party split: Aislinn and Winifred staying behind with Birdy’s familiar and half of the men-at-arms to prepare physic and special arrows; the rest of the Force pushing on to find secure the sublevel of the tower.

Perhaps attracted by the smell of carnage, two giant centipedes from the cavern level attacked the Aislinn and Winifred’s bivouac. All hirelings here were killed: five men-at-arms, three bandit porters, and Hothgar the wizard-triplets. Winifred suffered a centipede bite and nearly succumbed to the same fate, but for Aislinn dragging her to safety. Birdy’s familiar delivered word to the away to team, who returned to dispatch the centipedes.

The party pressed on and was attacked again by kobolds, but Zig, Kaledar, and Carrick crushed them, the kobold darts plinking harmlessly off the shield-wall. The tower proper was now open!

On the first floor of the tower, the party was attacked by the indomitable Rat Master, a kobold elite with a mysterious flute and mastery over… rats!

Rat Master’s rats were no match for Kaledar’s old rites, which turned the rodents and s isent them fleeing! Though Rat Master fought to the last with a nasty poisoned spear, the Force slew him and claimed his flute—a magic instrument for fascinating vermin.

Trepidation set in as the kobolds on the next floor up had clearly prepared for an ambush. As the party deliberated, Heebie-Jeebie and Daniel scoffed at their fellows’ cowardice. Daniel ran on ahead, eager to claim glory and gold for himself!

Though the kobolds above had overturned tables and were ready for intruders, none could hit Daniel with a single dart! Daniel ascended the ladder to the level beyond, finding two well-heeled kobolds lording over a captive wizard-triplet. Daniel gave each of them two vicious whacks with his hatchet, then tossed the dead kobolds downstairs. In this chaos, the rest of the Force moved up to attack the stunned kobolds, making short work of them.

The third and final wizard-triplet, Gothgar, was the least insufferable and most talented of the bunch, though their confidence was quite lacking. They warned the party of an aerial group of the kobolds—seven pigeon- or bat-like kobold mutants led by a vulturous harpy! As if on cue, a flurry of flapping wings could be heard in the rafters above. Glenn spotted dark shapes in the sky, silhouetted against the setting sun.

With only rickety scaffolding to take them up to the rafters, and an old brass bell dangling ominously above, the band steeled themselves for attack. Birdy and Carrick escorted the wounded Gothgar to safety. As he was lighter than his comrades, Heebie-Jeebie scaled the scaffolding. Aislinn nailed a flying kobold through one of the old arrow slits in the tower.

Crammed as they were in the narrow tower, the band were fish in a barrel! The kobolds cut the brass bell loose, crushing Zig and Glenn with a dolorous ring. On top of that, no sooner had the fallen bell gone quiet, the sounds of harpy-song from above filled the tower. It looked for a moment like the Ogre-whelming Force was finished…

… But for quick thinking from Heebie-Jeebie and Aislinn! From his vantage on scaffolding, the halfling lassoed the harpy and jumped, bringing both to the floor. Heebie-Jeebie wa out cold, but as the harpy staggered to her feet, Aislinn silenced the monster with an arrow to the throat.

With their leader slain and their numbers dwindling, the remaining kobolds took flight and flew off into the night. The long day was over—Quasqueton had been liberated, but at great cost. Zig, one of the Ogre-whelming Force’s bravest, lay dead.

The band loaded up their packs with the kobolds’ booty and bore their fallen dwarf-brother back to the Keep. The band drowned their sorrows with a great revel. They were soon joined by the beneficiary of Zig’s will, an elf from parts unknown, who took custody of the the late-dwarf’s bronze Wolf-Spear. Zig had declined the cremation customary in the Borderlands, instead bequeathing his corpse to the Spider-Witch, with whom he had been smitten.

With their new elf comrade, the band spent two weeks recuperating before returning to Quasqueton. Birdy and Rudy parted ways with the band for now, returning to the capital for some business. There they found Róisín had wasted no time in taking custody of the fortress. Word had it that the Castellan questioned the Force’s judgement in setting up a warlord on his eastern flank, but the Keep was happy to let someone else take the brunt of the predations of Chaos for a change.

Róisín gave the party leave to continue exploring the caverns beneath, for the Woodfolk were still combing the fortress for monsters and traps.

The band came across a strange glowing salt deposit in the bowels of the fortress. Naturally, Winifred could not resist sampling it, which led to her coughing up an enormous and valuable pearl.

Further on, Kaledar was ambushed by a strange cave-leech camouflaged as a stalactite. The monster dropped from above and affixed itself to the cleric’s head and began to bore through his skull. Pandemonium ensued until a scroll of sleep was remembered—causing a whole nest of the leeches to fall to the ground for stomping.

Badly injured, befuddled, and spurned by his god, Kaledar insisted on a dose of the magic salt from earlier. Though it had no effect on his wounds, some of its odd enchantment carried into the cleric’s weapon.

Deeming their luck sufficiently pressed for the time being, the band retreated to safety and to plan their next move…

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