- 10 Dec, 2025 *
I’m trying a new thing where I trust the mysteries of life.
What do I mean by that?
Take creativity.
I started this blog without knowing where it can “go,” if “going anywhere” is even the point. I only know I need to write and I hate all the other options (one day, I will unleash my full Substack rant) while logging into Bear Blog puts me at ease, so I write here.
I picked up Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for maybe the eleventh time in my life and I’m not sure if I’ll do the full book but I’m doing Morning Pages — easy when I’m inexplicably awake between 3:30 and 4:30 AM any way — and am open to …
- 10 Dec, 2025 *
I’m trying a new thing where I trust the mysteries of life.
What do I mean by that?
Take creativity.
I started this blog without knowing where it can “go,” if “going anywhere” is even the point. I only know I need to write and I hate all the other options (one day, I will unleash my full Substack rant) while logging into Bear Blog puts me at ease, so I write here.
I picked up Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for maybe the eleventh time in my life and I’m not sure if I’ll do the full book but I’m doing Morning Pages — easy when I’m inexplicably awake between 3:30 and 4:30 AM any way — and am open to where the practice leads.
What I’m saying is: I’m abandoning the need for foresight in every move. Some truths reveal themselves over time, so you approach them lightly — step by step — see what happens, and let the outcome surprise you.
This is… not easy.
Storyteller than I am, I love to regale with tales of what I’m up to. My latest esoteric interest. An idea or hobby that won’t leave me alone. The next creative thing that will unlock all my potential.
Part of what my weekend in Vegas showed me was how many relationships I’ve built treating my life like a series of art projects I’m presenting to a parent for approval.
“See how I’m filling my time now? See this thing I have time and space to pursue because I choose myself, over and over again? Aren’t you proud of me? Please be proud of me.”
And when I stop doing and trying and fucking explaining for one weekend, I’m treated like a broken toy which is 100% my fault. I forged a self that was a thing to be enjoyed. And now that I’m releasing that self; surrendering to something wilder, less curated and predictable…
I have to live with the consequences.
So…
Alone time for a while. Surrendering to the dark, curiosity holding hands with fear, and just letting shit be.
#life [#single at heart](https://mythirdhouselife.bearblog.dev/blog/?q=single at heart)