Published on December 10, 2025 1:04 PM GMT

Sorry if this is too political for LessWrong. I’ve tried to keep it from being too mind-killer-ish, but perhaps my opinions can be read into it. Please read the mind-killer post (if you haven’t already) before commenting, if you decide to comment.

Virgil: Welcome to another episode of The Publius Virgil Experience, today our guests are Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, let’s welcome Agrippa!

Agrippa: Hello, everyone! Very glad to be here and talk about the fantastic work being done by our amazing Princeps, Augustus!

Virgil: Fantastic! Great to have you on and to hear more about Augustus from someone who knows him so well! We also have, from beyond the grave, Marcus Tullius Cicero.

Cicero: Hello everyone. Wish I were here under better circumstances — but even in death, I must speak up for the rights of the people. In times of strife for our republican virtues, such as these, we ought look to those who fought tyranny from our great past. We must…

Virgil: Okay, okay. Cicero, hold your ethereal horses. We’ll get there. First of all, I want to address the Senatorial shutdown? It seems like nothing can get through that place anymore?

Agrippa: Yes Virgil, I have heard about it, and I along with the rest of the Caesarian party really want to get the grain out to the people. Unfortunately, as long as the Republicans keep blocking us, we can’t get anything through! We’ve proposed legislation after legislation, all rejected by the Republican party.

Virgil: Yes, indeed. It’s really sad what they’re doing. Really sad. I just don’t get it, why do they not want to get the grain out to people? Cicero?

Cicero: Well, as I was saying before, we need to stand up for the virtues that once made our republic great! Decency, elections, democracy, the rule of law! Augustus wants to make himself King, if he hasn’t already. He’s executing political opponents, stifling writers and artists and senators! Even if we passed your proposed legislation — which, to be clear, we don’t like — we’d have no guarantee he’d even act on it! We can’t possibly make a deal under such circumstances!

Agrippa: Well, if he were really going to implement whatever legislation he wants, why would he need to wait for the Senate to pass it? Surely he would just bypass the Senate entirely. The very fact that he’s waiting for the Senate to pass the bills shows his respect for the Senate. Your fellow republicans don’t even make the argument you’re making, they say it’s simply about Augustus removing funding for public physicians.

Virgil: And Cicero, let me step in. It’s not okay for you to throw around these words like “King.” As you and the audience know, I’m totally neutral on this topic — not being much of a politico myself. But it was that sort of language that directly led to the assassination of his father. Let’s cool it with the inflammatory language. Sure, Augustus took power after his father died; and sure, his son looks poised to take over power when he dies, but “King” seems like it goes a little too far, don’t you think?

Cicero: What are we doing here? If I can’t call him a King who can we call a King?

Virgil: Well, Tarquin was a King, and we can all agree he was terrible! Using that sort of language to describe Augustus just seems inflammatory. Surely you don’t think the majority of the Roman people support a King, do you? Let’s stick to calling him just “Augustus,” alright? It’s my show.

Cicero: …Alright, fine. Augustus has refused to meet with anyone on the republican side of the aisle, he’s refused to budge on the one issue that might get a few of my colleagues to vote for this terrible bill — which I don’t think they should even if he does concede — and he’s refused to acknowledge the supremacy of the Senate when it comes to budgetary decisions!

Agrippa: Well, from our perspective, the Republicans have refused to meet with us. Augustus hasn’t budged on this issue because he doesn’t need to. We won the civil war fair-and-square, and so we get to make these decisions. And is the Senate really supreme? There’s been an interesting theory put forward by some magistrates, we call it the Unitary Princeps Theory, it would allow us to have a more energetic Princeps.

Cicero: What do you mean “from your perspective”?! There’s a reality here! To say we don’t need the senate —

Virgil: Alright, settle down Cicero. Let’s talk about something else quickly, we don’t want things to get too political. Have either of you guys tried EMT — that’s an Eleusinian Mysteries Trip? It changed my whole perspective.

Agrippa: I haven’t, but I’ve heard great things.

Cicero: I don’t… Can we get back to what we’re here to discuss? What about the rule of law? For the past 450 years, our great Republic has been built on the idea that people should be free to speak their minds. The idea that all citizens should be able to criticize and be criticized. Yet now Augustus wields consular power as a weapon against only his political enemies; and he permits rampant corruption and cronyism by anyone on his side. What do you have to say about that, Agrippa?

Agrippa: I seem to remember someone else wielding the power of the state against their political enemy, Cicero. In fact, I remember someone marshalling the entire Senate against Catiline, just because he was a political opponent. Be careful about throwing stones from glass houses.

Cicero: But Catiline actually did plan an insurrection against Rome! Sure, we might’ve exaggerated it slightly, and prosecuted him on a few charges that were slightly overboard, but we should hold elected officials to higher standards. Augustus had me condemned, just for convenience. Agrippa, surely you can see the difference?

Agrippa: Perhaps to you it seems different. Frankly, I don’t know much about this “Catiline conspiracy,” always seemed a bit far-fetched to me. Sure, some veterans got a bit rowdy — but overthrowing the republic? I don’t think there’s any evidence for that.

Virgil: You know, I’ve got to say, I really think Agrippa has a point here Cicero, nothing bad ended up happening as a result of the Catiline conspiracy theory. It seems like both sides have engaged in prosecution against their opponents. Sounds like you’re just complaining now because the Republicans are getting the short end of the stick.

Cicero: Look, I think what I did during the Catiline conspiracy was more than justified, and the evidence will prove that. Fine, let’s move on to the corruption then! Surely, you can see I’ve never done something as corrupt as take a province like Egypt under my own personal rule — senators can’t even visit Egypt without permission from Augustus. Or his acceptance of private gifts from the Parthians, instead of turning them over to the State! This is corruption on a level never before seen in the Republic.

Agrippa: You know very well, Cicero, that the only reason Augustus took Egypt under his own personal rule was so that he could use it to benefit the people. Senators aren’t allowed to go because he wants to prevent it from being used as a political football. And if foreign leaders wish to give gifts to our great Princeps, that is a matter between him and them. Frankly, they probably just recognize that he’s Made Rome Great Again.

Cicero: We had these rules for a reason, Agrippa. So that one man could never dominate the state in the manner of a King —

Virgil: Careful…

Cicero: As it stands now, Augustus is at once the richest and most politically powerful individual in the State, and he’s using his supporters and power to accrue more wealth and more power to the office of “Princeps,” undercutting the Senate at an unprecedented rate.

Agrippa: Well, Cicero, the people love Augustus. They think he’s doing what’s necessary to put our Republic back on track. Are we not to listen to the people?

Cicero: Yes, he is popular, his supporters have literally started a cult in his name. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t listen to the people. I’m asking for those around him to constrain his worst impulses! Even if you think he’s fantastic — the best leader Rome has ever seen — surely you can see where this leads. Eventually, someone much worse will gain power, and there will be precedent for them to accrue even more power.

Agrippa: Why not cross that bridge when we get to it? We’ll stop this hypothetical “bad person” from getting power, and let the good leader accrue more power to do good things.

Cicero: By that point it will be too late! Don’t you see Agrippa? Our republican system has let many great aristocrats work their way up the ladder. It’s worked as a vent for the ambitions of great men! Without this vent we will have great men who know that they can never achieve the pinnacle of glory that was once represented by the consulship — no longer, for it is now the Princeps that holds greatest authority. If you destroy politics, you won’t remain ruled by wise and powerful leaders, you will force great men to vie for power through the natural extension of politics: War.

Virgil: This sounds like a bunch of scaremongering to me, Cicero. Why can’t we just say that, on the issues, there are two equally reasonable sides? Augustus is a great leader. And of course, there are some issues with how he’s receiving gifts and managing the State.

Agrippa: I’ll stick out a fig leaf here. I certainly agree that it would be better if Augustus didn’t take all these private gifts from foreign diplomats in exchange for better treatment by the State. But he’s just an eccentric character: you have to take the good with the bad.

Cicero: I’m sorry, but I can’t compromise on this. The Republic I fought for, and ultimately died for is being killed in its prime by you Agrippa, and by you too Virgil!

Virgil: Hey Cicero, I’m neutral! Anyway, that’s all the time we have. Now for a quick word from our sponsors: PrincepsCoin — does your money bear the faces of traitors to the Republic, such as Brutus and Cassius? Would you like your money to hold more value? Why not invest in PrincepsCoin, a fantastic opportunity to build wealth, and support your favorite first-among-equals…^[1]

1. ^{^}

   Some good music to pair with this post: :)