Agile in one sentence: "Inspect and adapt". Or maybe "Deliver value early and often". Or perhaps "Respond to change over following a plan".

Every consultant has their elevator pitch, their framed poster-quote wisdom. It sounds elegant. It sounds transformative. And it’s complete bullshit. This empty simplicity is Agile’s most effective marketing weapon—and its most dangerous deception. While consultants pitch their one-line mantras, your engineers are drowning in ceremonies, story points, and meetings that somehow always run twice as scheduled.

Agile has bloated into a contradictory mess of competing interpretations and unnecessary complexity. That’s not a bug—it’s the business model. The ambiguity keeps the methodology unaccountable, the consultants profitable, and the …

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