When people advise you to network more for your career, do you then go to one of those so-called "networking" events? You know the ones that are essentially glorified happy hours, featuring people roaming around a room carrying drinks, looking to somehow interject themselves into a conversation with someone who "matters." And, of course, when you do finally find someone willing to talk to you, you can barely hear what small talk is coming out of his or her mouth above the din of all the other small talk filling the room.

Such events may work for you if you already know people there, have someone to introduce you to others, immediately fit in with the crowd, happen to be loud yourself, or like to drink. Otherwise, it can feel like a lot of work trying to network in such a way without much net gain. It’s easy to leave such events discouraged and not knowing how else to build the network of people who can end up helping you professionally and even personally.

Well, I learned over the years that if you are interested in building any network, it may be better to start with your interests—meaning doing activities that you would actually be interested in doing regardless of whom you want to meet.

Choose an Activity That You Would Enjoy Doing

This means starting with the means and not the ends. Ask yourself what activity would you naturally gravitate towards simply for the enjoyment of it. This could be basketball dribbling, Gangnam Style dancing, bridge playing, pottery making, video gaming, fruitcake baking, hot dog eating, yarn bombing, worm charming, or whatever. Then see if you can somehow do that activity with other people around you. You could search for clubs or organizations that do such things, gyms and other locations that hold such things, or websites like Meetup and Eventibrite that post such things. This way, even if you end up meeting absolutely no one new, you can at least have fun and get better at what you like to do.

Doing Something You Enjoy Will Make You More Attractive

A fun-ny thing does happens when you do something you find fun. It can leave you laughing, smiling, and relaxing more. All of that, in turn, can make you a heck of a lot more attractive to others. And guess what people are more likely to do when they find you attractive? Yes, they approach you—instead of you desperately trying to stick yourself into their conversations with others like a groundhog sticking his or her head out of a hole.

Doing What They Enjoy Will Make Everyone Else More Approachable

At the same time, everyone else’s social guard may be way down. Your teammates, for example, on a basketball court won’t be thinking, ""Why is that person on my team walking towards me? What does that person want from me?" The answer, of course, is that you probably want the basketball and maybe a high-five. When people’s guards are down, they will be more open to conversing and connecting.

All of You Will Already Have Something in Common

Also, you won’t have the same what-the-heck-do-we-have-in-common worry that is a big part of approaching someone cold at a networking event. What you already have in common is that you both like to play pickleball, make fruitcakes, do extreme ironing, or whatever it is that you are doing at the event. Something about the activity itself can at the very least serve as a conversation-starter. You can begin with something like, "How long have you been playing" at a pickleball event or "How long have you been eating" at a food event.

Moreover, when you are engaged in an enjoyable activity with others, you quickly adopt a shared identify with others. You are no longer simply that person who looks different, being from a different background, culture, social status, race, ethnicity, age, or whatever else people use to separate people from each other. Instead, you are all poker players, Pokémon collectors or Arte Povera art appreciators, for example. The walls fall as you are all in the same club now.

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You Never Know How One Network Will Grow Into Another

You may be saying, "Great what will having a network of hot dog lovers get me, besides more hot dogs?" Well, since people are multi-dimensional and often have multiple interests and identities, you never know how one network may morph into another. For example, my pick-up basketball playing really picked up while I was in medical school. I had no professional aspirations for basketball since I was nowhere good enough to play professionally, except for when someone treated me to pizza for playing. My only interests were to have fun and get some exercise. Through playing pick-up basketball I was able to make friends, identify future apartment-mates, become closer with work colleagues, and establish connections that have helped me personally and professionally. It’s even helped me when talking with basketball greats like Isiah Thomas, Alonzo Mourning, Kobe Bryant, and Steph Curry because we can speak the language of basketball with each other, even though comparing my basketball abilities with theirs would be like comparing a morse code machine with a smartphone.

So, maybe you should look at networking more like netfunning. Focus more on what you will be doing than whom you might meet. Start with what you would enjoy doing to start building your network. It doesn’t have to feel like work to work.