- 27 Dec, 2025 *
For almost 30 years now, I’ve been here fucking up and finding out.
That’s definitely a good one to open this topic since it’s the biggest truth ever. I’ve been struggling with the fact that from time to time, something happens to me and the sense of urgency for a change simply fucks up my mind. I’m definitely not proud of it but this has been like that for a while now.
Not sure how to explain or if someone else could actually sympathize with it but it feels like my head isn’t a safe place, always telling me that I’m not in a good spot and need to rev all the thin…
- 27 Dec, 2025 *
For almost 30 years now, I’ve been here fucking up and finding out.
That’s definitely a good one to open this topic since it’s the biggest truth ever. I’ve been struggling with the fact that from time to time, something happens to me and the sense of urgency for a change simply fucks up my mind. I’m definitely not proud of it but this has been like that for a while now.
Not sure how to explain or if someone else could actually sympathize with it but it feels like my head isn’t a safe place, always telling me that I’m not in a good spot and need to rev all the things up in the air for my own sake.
This has been more and more painful as I get older and my relationship with others evolves since during this process I mostly perform a fucking 360 that changes pretty much everything in a sense of how I see the world, deal with people and also my own sense of what’s right or even wrong.
Not sure if everything that I wrote until now has been clear to someone and I really hope that if any person reads that someday they might understand and even get a clearer thought of it if found in the same situation. After a lot of help from therapy sessions, which I definitely recommend for EVERYONE, I found peace with that chaos, even though I feel frustrated sometimes because what I’ve been pursuing the whole time is that stability that’s displayed in those food commercials that portray that perfect life; even though this might sound utopian I still believe that a few lucky people do feel like that at least a little, and until I get there, I’ll keep revving things up to get there.