- 14 Dec, 2025 *
Ah, it’s pretty much Christmas. Happy Christmas everyone. Happy, what, 12 hours of the year? That’s taken months of getting here and will be forgotten two days after?
I always do a ‘I hate Christmas’ post for Christmas. Because I hate Christmas.
This year I’ve turned over a new leaf, in that I will be using the word Christmas a lot in this post. Previously I have always used ‘the festival’, or ‘that bastard December event’, but I really want to Christmas this post up with the word Christmas, in an effort to make Christmas readers as sick of the incessant Christmas build-up as I am.
Besides, the Americans have taken to calling the festive period ‘the Holidays’, in order to cover all the other possible religious festivals of different faiths that happen aro…
- 14 Dec, 2025 *
Ah, it’s pretty much Christmas. Happy Christmas everyone. Happy, what, 12 hours of the year? That’s taken months of getting here and will be forgotten two days after?
I always do a ‘I hate Christmas’ post for Christmas. Because I hate Christmas.
This year I’ve turned over a new leaf, in that I will be using the word Christmas a lot in this post. Previously I have always used ‘the festival’, or ‘that bastard December event’, but I really want to Christmas this post up with the word Christmas, in an effort to make Christmas readers as sick of the incessant Christmas build-up as I am.
Besides, the Americans have taken to calling the festive period ‘the Holidays’, in order to cover all the other possible religious festivals of different faiths that happen around similar times to Christmas, so I am using Christmas, and singling it out as Christmas, so we are very clear which of the festivals I am hating in particular.
Christmas.
I hate Christmas Carols. And Christmas songs. Adding sleigh bells to songs when no one has ever heard sleigh bells in real life – OK, you’re going to say Laplanders... no, they have skidoos these days. Try hearing any sleigh bells over your two stroke Rotax.
Christmas dinner. Gathering family around. NO! Why do you think they’re not invited for dinner any other time of the year? Bunch of argumentative humans around a table making out they’re jolly. It’ll end in tears after the cheese board, and probably a fight. (Granted, this may only be my family)
Christmas gifts. Racking your brains thinking of something appropriate for people that can afford to buy their own things anyway, getting it wrong because you don’t know this stuff as well as they do and what you’ve bought is actually cringe but they won’t tell you and they’ll just re-gift it or put it at the back of the drawer and try to remember to bring it out when you visit them in future. NO!
Useless Christmas ‘traditions’ that have only existed since the firms that made things suitable for the tradition invented it to sell the things they made. NO!
Christmas jumpers. Christmas parties. Christmas specials on telly. Pardon a turkey. Don’t blow up innocent Venezuelan boats for a day. Today, it’s Christmas, we are ‘Goodwill to all’ and eating the turkeys that didn’t get pardoned. Tomorrow we can blow up another boat.
It’s all pointless. One day only.
And Christmas makes me anxious. Christmas makes me resentful. You can’t ignore Christmas because all TV, radio, and media in general, works on the basis that no-one can hate Christmas, so let’s fill the whole of fucking existence with Christmas tat all over the place. Christmas specials. Christmas songs. Falling snow on internet pages – like snow is some sort of Christmas thing? Robins in snowy scenes Christmas cards – wait a minute, I like robins... leave robins out of it!
The only respite is to go without TV, radio and media from about the start of November.
I wouldn’t mind a Winter Festival of some kind. Three days off work. A good book, a fire, a nice glass bottle of whisky.
Just maybe a gathering of friends (not family), something nice to eat (therefore ‘not turkey’) and a bit of a party. Then we all go home, warm and fuzzy.
But all the Christmas™ stuffed down your throat these days? NO!
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