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3 min read3 days ago

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Latest scientific Insights how to handle ‘over compareness’

Psychologically, two opposing processes can be distinguished:

**Assimilation: **One identifies with the comparison target and perceives oneself as similar or potentially similar. This can be motivating, as one believes it is possible to attain the positive traits or achievements of the other person.

**Contrast: **One emphasizes the differences and distances oneself from the comparison target. This can protect self-esteem by positioning oneself as different or superior, but it often leads to a negative self-image when one experiences oneself as inferior.

A classic experiment illustrates this effect: Students who encounter a highly competent and well-groomed person (“Mr. Clean”) subsequently report lower self-esteem, whereas encountering a less attractive and poorly groomed person (“Mr. Dirty”) increases self-esteem. The contrast effect makes one’s own standing appear worse or better, depending on whom one compares oneself to.

Societal Dimensions and Challenges

Social comparisons are not merely individual phenomena but are deeply embedded in social structures. Philosophers such as Rousseau already noted that the drive for comparison and competition can be both a source of motivation and of dissatisfaction. In modern societies, social media intensifies this dynamic by presenting idealized portrayals of lives, bodies, and success that often seem unattainable.

Upward comparisons on social media are particularly problematic, as they frequently lead to a distorted self-image and negative emotions such as envy, dissatisfaction, and reduced self-worth. Studies show that constant exposure to seemingly perfect images can impair well-being.

At the same time, downward comparisons in stressful situations, such as serious illness, are a double-edged sword. They may provide short-term hope, but can also evoke feelings of guilt for feeling better at the expense of others.

Practical Implications: Dealing with Social Comparisons

Awareness of the mechanisms underlying social comparison can help develop a healthier approach. Some strategies include:

**Self-reflection: **Becoming aware of when and why one engages in comparisons and which emotions arise. It can be helpful to distinguish between assimilation and contrast.

Focus on personal development: Rather than constantly measuring oneself against others, evaluate one’s own progress over time. For example, assess your current fitness compared to last year instead of comparing yourself to other runners.

Mindful media use: A critical approach to social media and questioning portrayed ideals can help avoid unrealistic comparisons.

Acceptance and self-compassion: Treating oneself with kindness and acknowledging that every person has individual strengths and weaknesses.

Seeking social support: Conversations with trusted individuals or professional support can help break harmful comparison patterns.

Conclusion: An Ambivalent Phenomenon with Potential

Social comparisons are a fundamental aspect of human experience and behavior. They provide orientation and motivation but can also lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and a distorted self-image. Research shows that people predominantly engage in upward comparisons and often form contrasts that may undermine self-esteem.

A conscious and reflective approach to social comparisons is therefore essential. By focusing on personal growth, setting realistic standards, and practicing self-compassion, it is possible to reduce the pressure arising from constant comparison. In this way, social comparison can become a tool that fosters growth rather than undermines well-being.