- 11 Dec, 2025 *
When I was 16, I wanted to become an astronaut someday. A year later, I wanted to leave everything and become a monk of the Ramakrishna Mission Order. Something radical had happened to myself, and it never subsided. I have fallen miserably short of both those goals, and the intervening year has now expanded into a terribly short-sighted life of agony and loneliness. And I want to speak of it, for myself.
There is always this tangible sense of doom in the air when you’re over-intellectualizing life. I did, and gathered this exalted notion of being enlightened in the greatest philosophical and spiritual depths imaginable. However, all of it was delusion. It is all an illusion.
If you are serious about casual things, you will be casual about serious things.
The …
- 11 Dec, 2025 *
When I was 16, I wanted to become an astronaut someday. A year later, I wanted to leave everything and become a monk of the Ramakrishna Mission Order. Something radical had happened to myself, and it never subsided. I have fallen miserably short of both those goals, and the intervening year has now expanded into a terribly short-sighted life of agony and loneliness. And I want to speak of it, for myself.
There is always this tangible sense of doom in the air when you’re over-intellectualizing life. I did, and gathered this exalted notion of being enlightened in the greatest philosophical and spiritual depths imaginable. However, all of it was delusion. It is all an illusion.
If you are serious about casual things, you will be casual about serious things.
The strangeness of life is this: Deciding on whether an egg should be boiled or fried, is a more serious question than deciding on whether you have been gaslit by your family or friends more. The hardest things in life are the simplest. The most profound truths are found in the mundane. If you, or someone you care for, are found building complex stacks of logic to justify or explain something mundane, you are cooked.
This is the tragedy of an over-stimulated mind, and is the root behind doomed lives far and wide.
When the soul is inherently confused, lacking in purpose or self-worth, and is predating on external validation, you will end up playing games of power with yourself and your loved ones.
Happiness will be a state dictated on your own terms, and anyone who falls short will be an enemy to your "cause", including yourself. Success will be a metric only you can define, and any misalignment is everybody else’s problem. You will speak of lofty ideals, yet embody none. Nothing will ever be enough, and you will chastise anyone who fails to dance to your tunes. You are the first victim, again.
These are classic traits of a soul that has decided to hide its own truths by over-intellectualizing and mythologizing itself. A certain degree of mythology is fine, unless it gets in the way and obscures the essence of what it means to be alive.
I have no definitive way out, but I know for certain, is that truth is achieved by Occam’s Razor always and every time. Everything else is cope.