Everything impinges on everything else, often into radically different systems, although in such cases faintly. We doubt very much if there are any truly closed systems.

• John Steinbeck

Somewhere along the way of life, we learn that love means very different things to different people, and yet all personal love is but a fractal of a larger universal love. Some call it God. I call it wonder.

• Maria Popovo

The concept of a "wider lens is more than a metaphor; it is an active resource that helps us recognize that, whatever situational context you find yourself in, it is simultaneously part of and interfaces with a larger context. Simply put, we all have a built-in stereoscopic lens if we choose to use it. We can zoom in and out regularly as we assess every situation we find ourselves in to gain a systemic perspective. If you miss that opportunity, you may very well have difficulty encountering life’s inevitable paradoxes and their consequences, which are often solidified as a world of insurmountable opposites. "You can’t pull out the grapes from the wine," as my friend Nora Bateson, President of the International Bateson Institute, is fond of saying. The world really doesn’t function well when there is an attempt to fragment reality. One only must look at our health, education, environmental, and economic systems to understand that. When you use your wider lens empathically and warmly, you can avoid the adage of being between a rock and a hard place, the consequences of unresolved paradoxes.

You are part of a family that is part of a community, a religion, media, all within a country that is part of a larger interdependent ecosystem, and so on. Understanding how this complex system functions is a solace to behold. Poet Loren Eiseley, in a compassionate moment when he accidentally tripped and fell, looked at his blood and reflected that he, "... was quite sane, only it was an oddly detached sanity, for I was addressing blood cells, phagocytes, platelets, all the crawling, living, independent wonder that had been part of me...It seemed to me then, and does now in retrospect, that I had caused the universe I inhabited as many deaths as the explosion of a supernova in the cosmos."

An Example of Using a Wider Lens

One of the most rewarding therapy sessions in my practice was when I was working with a fellow in his late 60s who had many unresolved conflicts with his now 90-year-old mother. These past contexts were embedded in all his interactions and relationships. The detail was clearly replayed in his subconscious. I suggested that we widen his perspective and have his mother come in for an extended session. He said, “No way!" "Call her and see what happens," I said. She answered and, without hesitation, accepted the invitation. The week after, she took a train to my office. I filmed my sessions at that time, which consisted of a multitude of “I never knew that, oh my..." There were tears and hugs as the broader context of hidden, unheard narratives poured out. They shared what was between them rather than hearsay and misinformation that produced obstacles in their relationship.

This ability to zoom in and out is a way of navigating against the dominant cultural forces that favor content over context. Having a wider lens is a segue to being symbiotic with all living organisms interacting with each other and their physical environment. It supports relationships at various levels, from individual organisms to entire ecosystems and the biosphere. The Greeks defined it as Gaia, the earth being more than the sum of its interdependent parts.

It allows us to savor how our relationships, both Interpersonal and physical, play an essential role in maintaining nature’s intent. If, for instance, we dump our garbage into nearby rivers or continue to use pesticides, our species will be in serious trouble. Thus, it is all about relationships that can manifest in different ways to maintain this balance.

The Basis of Zooming In and Out

It is not easy since the Newtonian "cause and effect" belief became the fulcrum of Western culture and education. This predominant social framework compels us to short-circuit our innate tendency toward interdependence. It hinders our ability to build relationships and to understand misguided assumptions. However, we can utilize our aesthetic poetic expressions through mutual learning from each other. James Baldwin had it right when he said that "The poets, by which I mean all artists, are finally the only people that know the truth about us." Years ago, during a fellowship, I was able to relate to Baldwin’s statement when I studied Tamil, a language rich in poetry and everyday idioms that transcended linear reasoning with a holistic essence of love and harmony.

Nora Bateson, as mentioned above, uses the depiction of "meadowing" to understand the many nuances that work together to sustain life. She believes that "... a meadow is only a meadow through the different forms of communication between its organisms and their relationships within that context." This is reminiscent of Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha, where he emphasizes that our interconnectedness is a means to avoid the dangers of unresolved opposites that undermine the natural flow of harmonious relationships. Similarly, Lewis Thomas, in his classic book "Lives of a Cell," narrates "how it is beyond our imagination to conceive of a single form of life that exists alone and independent, unattached to other forms." It is also akin to Barry Commoner’s message in his book, "The Closing Circle." "Everything is connected to everything else."

Quotations as Prompts to Begin Using a Wider Lens

What did John Steinbeck mean when he wrote that "Everything impinges on everything else"? How can this make a difference in your relationships and life?

How do you interpret this quote by Gregory Bateson, " ...Evolution is a vast operation of interlocking changes, every particular change being an effort to make change unnecessary to keep something constant.” In what ways can this influence and better support your view of life?

A sign of health, according to David Wincott, Author of Midnight: The Opportune to Greatness, "in the mind is the ability of one individual to enter imaginatively and yet accurately into the thoughts and feelings and hopes and fears of another person; also to allow the other person to do the same." How can that allow your relationships to blend and be sustained in new ways?

What do you think Nora Bateson is describing when she said "Nothing Is Hidden, But Much Is Unseen" regarding your potential? Author Ruth Allen wrote that. “Sometimes we find our edges and an amazing thing happens; capacity is rebuilt, old wounds are healed, and we grow further and more beautifully than before." In what ways can this quote help you improve your relationships?

"I have observed with great fascination how two different glazes, when combined, produce an entirely unpredictable result — something not greater than the sum of its parts but of a wholly different order." What does this quote by Marie Popovo, creator of The Marginalian, mean to you about having a wider lens?

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