To understand toddlers, three aspects of development in the transition from infant to toddler are particularly important. They arise at about 18 months of age (with a range of roughly 1 to 3 years) and herald the arrival of the toddler: mobility, self-awareness, and language.

Self-awareness is a profound developmental advance that shapes how toddlers begin to understand themselves as separate individuals and relate to others. It’s arrival is deeply intertwined with both mobility and language.

The Development of Self-Awareness

The neurobiological and psychological triggers for self-awareness have not yet been clarified. What we do know is that its development occurs at around 1-3 years of age. The child begins to know her own name and refer to herself by name. The child will begin to look in the mirror and realize she is looking at herself. She will also make clearer her own likes and dislikes, needs, and wishes.

Evidence for Increased Self-Awareness

As the well-known infant researcher Daniel Stern notes, at about 18 months, children begin to show evidence of self-awareness. The evidence includes infants’ behavior in front of a mirror, their use of verbal labels for self, and empathic acts (See The Interpersonal World of the Infant, 1985).

There are a variety of ways in which children give evidence of increased self-awareness. They begin to use personal pronouns—I, me, mine—to refer to themselves. They may begin to use proper names, including their own. They are also increasingly capable of empathic acts, demonstrating their increased sense of being an object who can be experienced by another.

Self-Awareness and Language

Language and self-awareness are profoundly intertwined. In the midst of the onset of language, a normal part of a child’s developmental process is the struggle to establish him- or herself as an independent, autonomous person—someone separate from the parents and someone with feelings and opinions that are distinct from (and sometimes in conflict with) the parents’ own feelings and wishes. The increasing separateness and self-awareness often come packaged in a word: No!

We bring this topic up now because it is so connected to language. The well-known psychoanalyst John Gedo, M.D., put it this way: “Self-awareness is only achieved toward the end of the second year of life, in parallel with the acquisition of verbal communication.”

He further elaborated on this theme of language and self-awareness by noting the significance of putting words into feelings: “At this stage, children also become capable of learning a system of symbols for the affects; as a result, they are enabled to achieve emotional self-awareness.”

Implications

A major development in the transition from infant to toddler involves an increase in self-awareness. The child seems to become a person with interests, likes, and dislikes. This change gives parents a remarkable opportunity to help the child find her own direction, which in turn will benefit the child for the rest of her life.

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This developmental step can also be tough for parents; their child is beginning to separate and become his/her own person. For parents, this separation can feel like both a gain and a loss.

References

Gedo J (1985). Psychoanalysis as Biological Science: A Comprehensive Theory. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins University Press

Stern DN (1985). The Interpersonal World of the Infant: A View from Psychoanalysis and Developmental Psychology. New York: Basic Books