Reddit user VespaRed recently asked, "What’s the worst thing a medical professional has said to you?" While so many healthcare workers are compassionate and hard-working, the flaws in the system can’t be ignored. Bias, differences of opinion, lack of research, hubris, and other factors can interfere with a patient’s ability to get proper care. Here are 34 people who felt dismissed by their providers:
1. "Having just asked about getting my tubes tied: ‘But what if your children die in a fire? I bet you’ll want more then.’"
—[Agitated-Corner9037](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1qdzt3z/comment/o01hwj5/?utm_sourc…
Reddit user VespaRed recently asked, "What’s the worst thing a medical professional has said to you?" While so many healthcare workers are compassionate and hard-working, the flaws in the system can’t be ignored. Bias, differences of opinion, lack of research, hubris, and other factors can interfere with a patient’s ability to get proper care. Here are 34 people who felt dismissed by their providers:
1. "Having just asked about getting my tubes tied: ‘But what if your children die in a fire? I bet you’ll want more then.’"
2. "‘If you didn’t sleep around so much, you wouldn’t be in so much pain.’ An ER doctor told me this during what, I found out later, was an endometriosis flare-up. I was also monogamous and engaged."
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3. "‘Maybe try being a better person.’ Said after they couldn’t solve the reason for my symptoms."
4. "He told me my tattoos are a form of self-harm (I have two tattoos on my lower arms) and that I needed fellowship (church), not medication for depression. This was in the Bible belt, about 10 years ago."
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5. "‘Whoever did your nose should be sued.’ It was the nose I was born with."
6. "I couldn’t even make this up. While very pregnant, at my OB check-up, my nurse told me the reason I had a small baby bump was because I was an unwed mother, and they often contract their abdominal muscles to disguise their shame."
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7. "As a 14-year-old, a doctor coldly and bluntly said, ‘You will be blind by 18.’ Just out of the blue. Didn’t talk to my parents first to discuss how to break the news to me. Didn’t care how I’d react. Just, ‘You’re going to be blind.’ I’m in my 40s now. I can still see. Fuck you, doc!"
8. "‘Why would someone young and pretty with a job and a boyfriend need antidepressants?’ That dude is the reason I don’t see male doctors anymore."
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9. "Doctor: ‘You have a really thick neck.’ Me: ‘Really? Well, what does that mean?’ Doctor: ‘Oh, nothing, just an observation.’"
10. "A psychiatrist once took a phone call in the MIDDLE of our session and then proceeded to argue with a patient over the phone. After it was over, when she hung up, she asked me if I thought she was right. A few sessions later, she told me my hair looked like French fries. And I didn’t see her after that."
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11. "He told me that my problem was that I needed to lose weight because he could see stretch marks on my thighs. I came in for pelvic pain, fever, and I was 16 and weighed 105 pounds. He was going to do a physical exam, but stopped because he saw stretch marks and decided weight was my problem. I was in the ER the next day for an infection in my uterus that required a two-week hospital stay and IV antibiotics."
12. "‘You should drink some wine to loosen up,’ said my gynecologist to me after I told her about my concerns with pain during intimacy. I was also not of legal drinking age when she said this."
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13. "I was barely 20 and went with my boyfriend to the doctor. We were just in the reception area. He had a lump in his ballsack. When the doctor came to get him, he asked me, ‘So, who discovered it first, you or him?’"
14. "After miscarrying, having a D&C procedure, and then having several bouts of bleeding, one that took me to the ER, my OBGYN said, ‘I think your body just really liked being pregnant… Things will go back to normal, but you need to tell your husband to get busy.’"
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15. "Accused me of watching too much TikTok after requesting hormone panels. Switched doctors and was diagnosed with PCOS."
16. "I was inquiring with the nurse at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office regarding how to go about getting a paternity test that was required by the state for child support orders for unmarried parents, not because I didn’t know who the father was (she was aware of the reason). She gave me the information, then said, ‘Maybe next time you’ll think twice about opening your legs for just anyone.’ It’s been 13 years, and I’m still absolutely rocked by this. We never stepped foot in there again."
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17. "My husband and I had been married for nine months when we found out he had testicular cancer. About one month into his treatment, I went to an OB-GYN appointment with someone else at the same practice as mine, since she was on maternity leave. I brought up pain during sex and some issues with it. He said to my face, ‘He needs to feel like a man, so you should just take a Valium and deal with it.’"
18. "An ER doctor told me that I was drug seeking and faking sepsis, therefore faking the UTI that caused it. I was told to go home and think about my life. Less than two hours later, I was taken by ambulance and admitted to the same hospital in septic shock from a massive kidney infection. I required surgery a week later and spent, in total, three weeks in the critical care unit."
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19. "‘Oh, stop. That doesn’t hurt.’ This was from a male gynecologist as he sliced a piece of my cervix away without anesthesia."
20. "‘You need to stop eating so much peanut butter. Don’t you want a boy to ask you to the prom one day?’ Chubby 11-year-old me heard that from my pediatrician, and I’m still pissed about it 27+ years later."
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21. "I have a funky lung disease, and I saw a specialist at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. After reviewing my records, he said, ‘95% of the people who get this disease recover with no issues; the other 5% die. You’re in the 5%.’ He handed my records back to me, and the nurse showed me out. ZERO compassion. It’s been 12 years, and I’m not dead yet."
22. "ER doc: ‘There are people dying in the emergency room, and I don’t have time to hold your hand for a little anxiety.’ Pulse was 170+, I was delirious, couldn’t move my neck, my vision was so bad I could barely see, and I was vomiting on the floor. Despite putting three different medicines in my IV along with Valium, he couldn’t get my heart rate to lower, and he then released me to drive myself home. The hospital called me back the next morning and told me I needed to come back in immediately. They hospitalized me for over two weeks. I had meningitis."
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23. "I was accused of ‘drug-seeking behavior’ when I asked a doctor for help. A large ovarian cyst had burst and caused bleeding into my abdomen — something that has happened twice previously!!! I wasn’t even asking for drugs, just medical attention."
24. "My pediatric neurologist told me at age 16 that for such a pretty girl, I have ugly feet, but if I covered them up, I might be able to find a boyfriend. I had just come down with GBS and was trying to recover, so he was giving me his suggestions after he asked me what I planned on doing at the beach. Many years later, I ran into him with my husband, who asked him if he remembered what he said about me finding a boyfriend! He was in shock!"
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25. "While receiving an epidural, the anesthesiologist was having a hard time and taking forever. I asked nicely if she was almost done, and she snapped back at me, ‘Women have babies every day without an epidural.’"
26. "‘Stop crying, you’re upsetting my other patients.’ Followed shortly by, ‘Breathe normally; you’re making it worse,’ while I was having an allergic reaction to the medication they gave me."
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27. "‘You need to lose 15 pounds. Don’t eat anything after 6 p.m. each night. And if you get hungry, just go to sleep.’ This was during a women’s wellness visit, during which I did not ask her for weight advice and simply wanted a pap smear."
28. "After being in an accident where a vehicle hit me as a pedestrian, the ER doctor said, ‘Well, you walked here, so you’re fine,’ and tried to discharge me. The NP turned around after taking my vitals and went, ‘They were hit by a car. This is fight or flight syndrome,’ and then I went unconscious. I apparently made it to the ER before my lung collapsed and then discovered all the other injuries I didn’t know I had, thanks to adrenaline."
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29. "I was having a really hard time after the birth of my child. I went to see my female doctor, and she said, ‘You don’t have postpartum. I know because you put on makeup today,’ within two minutes of her walking in the room."
30. "To preface, when I was 19, I was extremely underweight. I went to a clinic for birth control. Skip ahead five years, at a healthy weight, happy with my body, finally. I went to the same clinic for birth control re-up (my normal clinic was not able to fit me in on time). The doctor took one look at my file and said, ‘If I gained that much weight, I would kill myself.’"
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31. "My orthopedic surgeon refused to listen to me when I complained about the extreme pain in my shoulder three years after I broke my humerus. Turns out I had developed a Desmoid Tumor. I went online to read the notes about my visit, and every single time, the only note was that he discussed my obesity problem with me. FYI, I’m not obese, and he NEVER mentioned that in any of my visits. I haven’t been back since."
32. "That my husband would grow to resent me if I wouldn’t/couldn’t give him children (at a pre-op appointment for my third endometriosis surgery in two years). He also forgot he was the doctor who removed one of my ovaries in a previous surgery. I fired him and found a new, more qualified doctor who was absolutely shocked."
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33. "One blew a raspberry at me when he looked at a test result."
34. And: "‘You’re really tight. Your boyfriend must like that.’ This was during a Pap smear. From a female practitioner."
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