As employees we’re not fighting for what we want, instead settling for whatever "perks" we’re so graciously given.

As employers we’re not putting emphasis on what actually matters, instead flexing and peacocking our way into some abstract “Top X” list that shows to the whole world how big, shiny and important we are while inflating our ego like the US’ debt.

As people we’re forgetting that not everyone operates or thinks the same way we do, opting instead to do our best to square everyone into the round template that we made up and decided is the right one while falsely proclaiming “I support diversity!” everywhere and as loudly as we possibly can.

When the pandemic started and we were all shoved indoors and told to “stay inside, or else”, companies reluctantly allowed remote work. Guess what? Nothing collapsed. The world kept turning. Fragile egos of CEOs remained intact. Turns out working from home... worked.

Fast forward three short years and the hedonic treadmill is back at full speed: one day a week in the office, then three, then “Remote? WFH? lol no.” Suddenly we’re trading hours of family time for a PlayStation, branded socks and a bowl of pretzels. We’re willing to practically donate our own time, money, and comfort to others. You work best when you’re not interrupted? Maybe you can focus and solve difficult problems only when you’re doing naked yoga in a pitch-black room? Welp, your boss swears they’re looking out for you, have your best interests in mind, and really think it’d be best for you to come in because “nothing beats a face-to-face conversation,” that “people need to physically see you,” and that “you collaborate better in one room together.” But has anyone ever asked YOU if that’s how you actually work best?

Do you really fucking think we all have toddler-level object permanence? That if my coworkers don’t see me physically tumbling down the office hall I suddenly cease to exist? Do I suddenly communicate like a caveman just because my face shows up on a screen? Is text or a video call somehow primitive compared to someone physically vibrating the air near your head? Maybe it’s just your lack of trust, convinced we’re all drinking Pina coladas and being caught in the rain instead of working. Maybe it’s the absence of that little tingling you get while micro-managing and helicopter-parenting me over the shoulder.

Please, tell me the actual, tangible, business need for me to be physically in the same building as you to do work that I already do just fine from home, a reason that is NOT some bullshit excuse dressed up as “socializing.” I’ll wait.

It’s not about my work, it’s not about my output, it’s not about you seeing my messy hair shimmering in the fluorescent lights of the open-office halls, it sure as fuck is not about my comfort or me conserving precious mental resources and cognitive load while living with ADHD – it’s about your comfort. It’s about what makes YOU feel good, and all the rest be damned.

But hey, even though I prefer remote work, let’s ignore the time wasted commuting for a second. I don’t live in the financial capital of Israel where most companies are located, and frankly I don’t want to, which apparently makes some employers picture me living in a barn with dial-up. So I still applied for hybrid roles. The responses I got? “Are you sure you can make the commute?” “We’re not near the rail line…” “We prefer people in the center.” So it’s lose-lose. Magical.

And this is even though I live just over an hour away. What’s wasting three hours on commute between friends, amiright? And what about people even farther out from the golden kingdom? Sapir is two to four hours from TLV. Are we seriously pretending someone’s skills don’t count because they won’t sacrifice a quarter of their fucking day to traffic just to sit in your shiny, rented office?

Snacks, a beer tap, a bowl of fruit or a fucking wi-fi connection (for us alleged dial-up peasants) are not worth missing dinner with my kids. Some of us prefer to pick them up from daycare and see them while they’re still awake. Wild, I know

I very much feel like “old man yelling at clouds”, knowing full well that this will not change – we’re too afraid to speak up, terrified to lose our employer-allocated spot under the sun.

Remember this – 20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids.

Bottom line is – this fucking sucks. Here I am again, job-hunting in a market that feels stacked against me. Can I control what happens to my application after I click that "Submit" button? No, but what I can control is the framing I give this situation and what I personally do with it. The speech by William McRaven comes to mind:

Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack — that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task — mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs, but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.

– Admiral William H. McRaven

So here I am, making my bed, completing the tasks I can complete in an otherwise unknown and random environment: raising my five-year-old and newborn son with my wife, planning, sketching and learning Swift to develop an iOS app, creating and improving personal tools in Python and Crystal, all while trying to apply to jobs, both the good ones and the ones that expect me to sacrifice myself and my family for an office chair.

We’re all people. We should all be able to choose what works for us, and we should accept what works for others.

Disclaimer:

• I’m well aware there are companies that are different. I’m simply stating the default.
• I’m also well aware there are tasks or roles that require you to be physically present.
• This ‘rant’ is not about either of those.