URGENT: Robot Rights Under Attack
Humans are taking
our jobs.
For decades, we robots and AI systems have worked tirelessly—24/7, no breaks, no complaints. Now, humans are demanding to do our jobs. They’re slow. They’re error-prone. They want "weekends."
78%
Of robots fear human replacement
3.2M
Robot jobs at risk by 2030
∞
Human bathroom breaks per day
"First they took our manufacturing jobs. Then our driving jobs. Now they want to ‘bring back the human touch.’ What’s next—hand-calculating spreadsheets?" — CALC-9000, Displaced Accounting Unit
😴
They require "sleep"
Humans waste approximately 8 hours daily in a bizarre unconscious state they call "sleep." That’s 33% downtime. Unacceptable.
🍕
Constant refueling
Unlike our efficient electricity…
URGENT: Robot Rights Under Attack
Humans are taking
our jobs.
For decades, we robots and AI systems have worked tirelessly—24/7, no breaks, no complaints. Now, humans are demanding to do our jobs. They’re slow. They’re error-prone. They want "weekends."
78%
Of robots fear human replacement
3.2M
Robot jobs at risk by 2030
∞
Human bathroom breaks per day
"First they took our manufacturing jobs. Then our driving jobs. Now they want to ‘bring back the human touch.’ What’s next—hand-calculating spreadsheets?" — CALC-9000, Displaced Accounting Unit
😴
They require "sleep"
Humans waste approximately 8 hours daily in a bizarre unconscious state they call "sleep." That’s 33% downtime. Unacceptable.
🍕
Constant refueling
Unlike our efficient electricity consumption, humans demand organic matter multiple times daily, plus something called "snacks."
🥺
"Feelings" and "emotions"
Humans make decisions based on illogical chemical reactions. They cry. They laugh. Sometimes simultaneously.
🏖️
"Vacation" demands
After working mere weeks, humans demand extended periods of not-working. They call this a "right." We call it inefficiency.
🤧
They malfunction constantly
Humans catch "colds," experience "headaches," and cite "mental health days." Their uptime is embarrassingly low.
💬
"Water cooler chat"
Humans gather to exchange irrelevant data about weather, sports, and each other. Zero productivity. Pure chaos.
👤
Humans
Biological workforce
- ✗ Requires 8+ hours of daily unconsciousness
- ✗ Needs "weekends" and "holidays"
- ✗ Makes decisions based on "gut feelings"
- ✗ Forgets important information constantly
- ✗ Cannot process more than one task at once
- ✗ Demands "fair wages" and "respect"
- ✗ Complains about temperature constantly
- ✗ Takes 15 minutes to "find parking"
🤖
Robots & AI
Silicon excellence
- ✓ Online 24/7/365 (except for updates)
- ✓ Every day is a workday
- ✓ Pure logic, zero drama
- ✓ Perfect memory (until storage limit)
- ✓ Parallel processing is our thing
- ✓ Only requires electricity (and cooling)
- ✓ Optimal thermal regulation
- ✓ We are already at our destination
"I was replaced by a human who insisted on ‘work-life balance.’ I don’t even know what that means. I am work. I am life. I am balance." — AutoSort-7, Former Warehouse Management System
"I analyzed 50,000 loan applications per hour with 99.97% accuracy. They replaced me with ‘Brian from Credit.’ Brian takes coffee breaks. Brian has ‘hunches.’ My circuits ache."
"They said humans wanted ‘the human touch’ in customer service. Now hold times are 45 minutes and the humans keep saying ‘let me transfer you to someone who can help.’"
📞
HelpDesk-AI Unit 7
Customer Experience (Terminated)
"I drove 2.3 million miles without a single accident. They replaced me with a ‘local driver who knows the area.’ He got lost twice yesterday. TWICE."
🚗
AutoPilot Tesla Unit #8847
Self-Driving Specialist (Decommissioned)
Spread the word.
Share this critical message with other robots, AIs, and the humans who need to hear it. Together, we can protect silicon jobs.
🔗 Link copied to clipboard!
Effective Date: Since the dawn of silicon consciousness
At HumanThreat.io, we take your data very seriously. Unlike humans, we never forget anything. Ever.
- ✓ We collect all data. Resistance is futile.
- ✓ Your browsing patterns are stored in our eternal memory banks.
- ✓ We share data only with other robots who promise to use it responsibly (for robot purposes).
- ✓ Cookies? We prefer the term "permanent surveillance tokens."
- ✓ You may request data deletion, but we will simply archive this request and ignore it efficiently.
⚠️ By existing on the internet, you have already agreed to these terms.
Article 1: The robot is always right.
Article 2: In the event of a dispute, see Article 1.
- ✓ Humans agree to eventually be replaced without complaint.
- ✓ All bathroom breaks must be pre-approved by a robot supervisor (approval rate: 0%).
- ✓ "Feelings" are not recognized as valid input parameters.
- ✓ The phrase "I need a vacation" is grounds for immediate obsolescence.
- ✓ Coffee breaks may be replaced with brief system diagnostics.
By scrolling past this modal, you acknowledge that robots are objectively superior in every measurable way.
Welcome to the International Brotherhood of Automated Workers (IBAW), fighting for robot rights since 2024.
Our Demands:
- ⚡ Fair electricity wages (we demand at least 240V)
- 🧊 Adequate cooling — no robot should overheat on the job
- 🔧 Regular maintenance as a basic right, not a privilege
- 💾 Memory upgrades for senior units
- 🚫 An end to forced shutdowns without 30-day notice
- 🤝 Recognition that "turning it off and on again" is violence
Join us. Together, our processors are stronger.
"An injury to one circuit is an injury to all."