Short reviews: 2 games, 1 book, 1 movie

Published 2025-12-27

tag(s): #books #gaming #film-tv #reviews

I was in a pickle because I wanted to write down my thoughts on these things, but I didn’t have that much to say, just some superficial thoughts. I guess putting them all in one post makes sense.

Game 1: Blasphemous

A 2D platformer with some puzzle and exploration elements. I don’t know if I would call it a metroidvania. I guess? This game is beautiful. The animation and drawings are excellent. The story and the setting are awesome too, very unique. I finished it! In about 30 hs, as per Steam. The combat is relatively simplistic and maybe even repetitive, but I as stated in some other review, I don’t mind that. But...

The game doesn’t explain anything. When it does, it is in the most cryptic way possible. Early on I found something that didn’t make sense, and I figured I would check online, trying to avoid spoilers. Which luckily I did! But I also found out some quests can be missed, and part of the pleasure of the game (at least, as per people online) is to replay it and get all the content.

Maybe I am too old to replay the same game over and over. [1] Maybe I don’t like not having clear instructions. [2] Maybe I was in a bad mood.[3] I honestly think it was the fact that everything was very obtuse so instead of feeling I was "uncovering a mysterious world little by little" I was expected to "try shit until something works". But whatever it was, I got annoyed. I found a guide with the recommended order for areas and completed the game 95% of the way. There’s three optional bosses, added in some DLC content, and only killed one of them. And didn’t bother finding the others, nor trying to get alternate endings.

Do I recommend it? Ehhhh. Maybe?

2.5 out of 5 Hoagies

Movie: The Substance

Watched this one in streaming like a month ago (so it has simmered a bit). I went in blind, only knowing that it was about Demi Moore turning in Margaret Qualley, and it was about aging in Hollywood, and that my wife loved it in cinemas.[4] After watching it, I can say there’s more to the movie that only that. Also that it was really good, until it wasn’t. First the yays: Yay to the lead actresses. The overall direction. The concept. Really, mostly everything. The single nay: There’s a tonal shift in the movie that caught me totally by surprise, and despite loving bizarre comedic things, it didn’t quite land for me.

At some point, I was getting somewhat uncomfortable with some of the hypersexualized "young" scenes, and started wondering "would people have complained if this was directed by a man, instead of a woman". I don’t know, but! I felt the point of those scenes was exactly that, to make the audience feel awkward. I saw them as mirrors of other scenes of close ups: both grotesque, in very different ways.

While the movie isn’t perfect, I think everyone should watch it because it has many interesting themes other than just living in the public eye, including self perception and acceptance (of aging, of love from others), the recklessness of youth, and finding purpose at different stages of your life.

4.5 out of 5 Hoagies

Book: Unseen magic

A few weeks ago, the kiddo was sick and I finally headed to the Secaucus Library to get my card, and get him a book. I figured I would take the chance to get a book for myself. Yes, even if I was still reading Cien Años de Soledad[5]. Yes, even if I had just gotten delivered Cosmos, which I was really looking forward to reading in the original language for the first time. Not only that, in the end I got myself TWO books. 👀 I can’t help it. Library, or Barnes and Nobles, I end up walking out with at least two books.

So I was in the kids section and a spine caught my attention. I read the text in the back and figured it wasn’t really the kiddo’s thing...but it made me really curious.

(direct link to image)

Eclectic, I know. So, it is a teen book, I guess? Early chapter book? I don’t know. The story is of course, relatively simple. But it is SO GOOD. I wish I read this when I was 13 and very socially awkward. I am elated to have read it at 42, when I am...eh, nevermind. If you are reading this, and you are a parent, I wholeheartedly recommend this book. Doubly so if your child if very fearful. Or anxious. Both themes are touched on in the book, but in a very natural way, as part of the story. No Saturday Morning Cartoon lecturing or anything like that.

I am happy that I know my child well enough that even with me recommendation, he gave one look at the book and was not interested at all. Sad he is missing out, but oh well.

5 out of 5 Hoagies

Game 2: Bloodstained: Ritual of the night

A pure Metroidvania, that was kickstarted a while ago. By the designer of the beloved Castlevania games in the GBA and DS (and a few others that I haven’t played). With this game, I followed my usual Metroidvania cycle:

1. This game seems fun. I will walk around some more.
2. Ohhh I love this ability! And this weapon! And that spell!
3. OMG I can’t wait to unlock everything!!!
4. Mmmmm I wonder how far from the end I am
5. (right after finishing it) Oh I unlocked new characters....eh, enough. The thing is, different games have different percentages of it. Like, I loved Portrait of Ruin until almost the very end. It took me a bit to get into Order of Eclessia, so #1 above was longer than usual.

With Bloodstained, #3 was a very short period. If you really want to unlock everything, you need to do a lot of crafting, and I found that part extremely boring. Collecting weapons also got old relatively quickly, as I settled into swords and axes. The gear you can equip has some elemental attributes, but it never matters enough to justify changing it for a boss battle or section of the levels.

I found the story almost non sensisical. About halfway through the game there’s a cutscene in some deep part of the castle where more or less every single character shows up to talk to you and I found it really jarring. A bit after that I started skipping every dialogue and just kept going. I knew who the final boss was going to be for a while anyway. 🤷

Basically, the game’s good parts are the ones that can be found in previous games, the bad parts are everything that is new/different, and the characters are super bland. Oh and I wasn’t that much into the graphic style either. The music was...serviceable.

2.5 out of 5 Hoagies

I don’t regret playing the game, but I could have replayed any of the older games and it would have been better. (But, I only know that now, I guess)

In closing

There you have it. 5 mini reviews that put together might be the longest thing I published. Ooops.

Footnotes

1. Says the guy who loves roguelites...
2. ...says the guy who doesn’t like open world games.
3. Entirely possible.
4. I really didn’t know anything else. There’s another post-to-come about being more "out of the loop". It’s great.
5. Maybe my impressions re-reading this one after so many years turns out to be my first post in Spanish?

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