Previously…

Yesterday recap

This is going to be real short.

The whole day was focused on work.

If you are in the US you may have heard about all the flooding in the Pacific Northwest. Where I am working and where I live have been safe from the flooding and I am thankful for that. Flooding has been awful all around the Puget Sound and I feel awful for the folks who have been affected.

Less seriously, the weather has been a major factor for our job. It has been raining steadily the entire time and has made the work slower than it should be. Yesterday we got the last 200 feet of mainline trenched and installed, along with several checkbox items. Today we are pushing to get it completely done, or as done as it can be until the spring. We have a few sections we can’t complete until the homeowner finishes planting those areas, which won’t happen until March/April next year.

We have been pushing hard and my body is telling me I need to back off. I am exhausted. But, there is no way I am coming back to this job next week. I don’t even want to come back on Friday, even though it is looking like I will have to for a half day.

My biz partner (and brother) and I are going to switch our trucks back after we wrap up today, so I had to clear out as much as I could from the Chevy Colorado when I got home. I will finally get my Dakota back! The Colorado is a nice truck and a lot newer (2011). But I love that Dakota. I’m excited to get it back and have upgrade plans for it this winter.

The rest of the night I just lounged since I am so sore and tired. We are working so hard and this property is huge, so everything is far away and up or down a hill.

Dinner, gorls bed time, and then we finished Jingle All the Way.

How are you feeling today?

Sore and physically exhausted. Let’s get this bread.

Gratitude

Very thankful our area did not flood. In a lot of areas it has been catastrophic.

Todo

Chores

• Work day. Aiming to finish.
• Truck swap and reorganization. Not gonna surprise anyone that I’m particular about how I have my stuff setup. I will need to spend a little time this evening putting things back together in the Dakota.

Fun

I am not having fun playing SSX 3 and have been forcing myself to play it because other people have fun playing video games so I should try to have fun with video games. Like everything else in my life, its a chore to complete. A task to check off and I get no joy from it other than I checked off the box.

I am declaring fun bankruptcy.

Projects

I am declaring project bankruptcy, too. I have been trying for months to find something to work on that is fun, exciting, or maybe I learn something new. Everything I’ve throught of or have on my list I have no interest in and I’m forcing myself through it. I give up.

This ties into the fun section above. I always try to fill in gratitude and fun sections to help fight off the depression. But, I find joy in almost nothing and both of these sections I force myself to put something even though from the beginning I’m not looking forward to any of it. Watching wrestling might be the exception, but that is because wife and kids love it and I like to hang out with them. I am generally indifferent to wrestling, but it is nice to hang out with people who love it. Same with watching NFL football. I don’t give two shits about it, but my son does and I like to hang with him.

I don’t want to hear from people about this. Often when I publish this kind of info I hear from people, “You should try [blank]!”

If I wanted to do that, I would have tried it previously. Next, does it cost money? Even a little money to get started? That’s immediately out. I don’t know why I can’t get through to some folks that even spending $20 is a fucking challenge.

Read? Is 2-3 books a month not good enough? This doesn’t include my library is awful, unless I want to read what’s trending on “BookTok”. Write? I write these every day along with other blogs. Outdoors? Yes, after spending 6-8 hours a day outside working in nature, I can see how spending more time outside in the rain is what I need. I don’t work in an office and need to find an excuse to get outside. I touch grass every fucking day.

I received a comment once that said why not use the winter to get caught up on things. They suggested I could fix the van after watching some YouTube videos or go to the doctor. Yes, thank you internet stranger, for thinking this was your time to be my dad. First of all, I have two dads and every day I hope to get a message that they died. So, you don’t want to be part of that group. Second, what the fuck do you think I’m doing? I don’t need “Professor YouTube” to fix the van. I am a middling mechanic and have done all kinds of repairs, including transmission replacement and a full top engine rebuild after a blow head gasket. I need m-o-n-e-y for parts. But, thanks for checking before suggesting what I should do. Also, go to the doctor? You are either not American or live in a bubble. My last trip to the doctor I told them about my dibilitating GERD. I’m in pain all day, every day. It is nonstop and affects every aspect of my life. I have tried everything, from medication to complete diet changes. I track it closely to see what the triggers could be because I live in so much pain. The doctors suggestion? Try putting your bed a slight incline. Oh, fucking thanks.

Aside from all of this I don’t even know what I want to do. Let’s say I have an unlimited budget and can do anything I want, I have no fucking clue what I would consider fun or relaxing or rejuvinating or stress relieving.

Anyway, rant over. This is going to be a long winter.

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Thank you for reading! If you would like to comment on this post you can start a conversation on the Fediverse. Message me on Mastodon at @cinimodev@masto.ctms.me. Or, you may email me at blog.discourse904@8alias.com. This is an intentionally masked email address that will be forwarded to the correct inbox.