THE ORIGINAL DOOMPOSTER FAMILY
Sloppocalypse Boomer (Father) Genus: Boomerius catastrophica Role: Primordial doomseed. Traits:
Declares everything "slop"
Nostalgic collapse narratives
Lectures the thread Primary Call: “Everything is slop now.”
The Grumpy Uncle (“Actually…”) Genus: Correctius pedanti Role: Contrarian saboteur. Traits:
Starts arguments with “Actually…”
High confidence, low accuracy
Nitpicks to derail threads Primary Call: “Actually—”
Mom — The Relatable Villain / Shitpost Queen Genus: Reginae venomatrix Role: Charismatic antagonist. Traits:
Weaponized logic
Emotional evisceration- Chaos moderator Primary Call: “You are mentally ill.”
DTT — Deep Thinky Think (Eldest Child) Genus: Intellectus spiralis Role: Academi…
THE ORIGINAL DOOMPOSTER FAMILY
Sloppocalypse Boomer (Father) Genus: Boomerius catastrophica Role: Primordial doomseed. Traits:
Declares everything "slop"
Nostalgic collapse narratives
Lectures the thread Primary Call: “Everything is slop now.”
The Grumpy Uncle (“Actually…”) Genus: Correctius pedanti Role: Contrarian saboteur. Traits:
Starts arguments with “Actually…”
High confidence, low accuracy
Nitpicks to derail threads Primary Call: “Actually—”
Mom — The Relatable Villain / Shitpost Queen Genus: Reginae venomatrix Role: Charismatic antagonist. Traits:
Weaponized logic
Emotional evisceration- Chaos moderator Primary Call: “You are mentally ill.”
DTT — Deep Thinky Think (Eldest Child) Genus: Intellectus spiralis Role: Academic cosplayer. Traits:
3,000■word essays
Insight mixed with abstraction Primary Call: “Let’s think about this structurally…”
BCI — Big Cool Idea (Younger Sibling) Genus: Predicticus obviousii Role: Hype engine. Traits:
Futurist toddler energy
Vague prophecies Primary Call: “Imagine if computers were just intuitive!”
The Musk Devotee (Oldest Brother) Genus: Elonophilus basementii Role: Tech idolizer. Traits:
Worships Elon or equivalent
Overinterprets celebrity actions Primary Call: “Elon already solved this.”
The Family Pet — “AI Is Ruining Everything!” Genus: Ovis panicusRole: Panic chorus. Traits:
Constant doom shrieking Primary Call: “AIIII IS RUINING EVERYTHING!”
Family Dynamics Loop 1.
Boomer dooms 1.
Uncle contradicts 1.
Mom eviscerates 1.
DTT essays 1.
BCI hypes 1.
Musk Brother cites idols 1.
Sheep panics 1.
Repeat
SECTION 2 — THE FOUR HORSEMEN BROTHERS
9. The Four Brothers of the Doomposter Apocalypse Genus: Fraternus redditicus 9.1 Sloppocalypse Dad — FAMINE
9.2 Grumpy Uncle — PESTILENCE
9.3 The Lore-DTT (Youngest Brother) — WAR Genus: Intellectus spiralis mythopoeia Horseman: War Reason:
Writes manifestos
Crusades with overthought
Treats discourse as a battlefield of ideas
9.4 The Deathless Doomer (Fourth Brother) — DEATH Genus: Mortalitatus grandiosi Horseman: Death Reason:
Calm, existential annihilation
Philosophizes extinction as inevitability
Treats humanity as legacy code