I've been working at a smallish company as a software engineer for a couple of years and I'm on a team with several other engineers. I have about a decade of experience and would like to consider myself an above average engineer. I am one of the only employees that has the privilege of working remote and it has been great for me as it has allowed to be in an area with a low cost of living and no commute. As time has gone on however, I feel the downsides have grown to outweigh the positives.

I feel really alienated, as I don't feel I'm close enough or know enough about my teammates to contribute much to conversation outside of the meeting. Everyone else is so tightknit/close and it's just painful to be reminded of that on the daily. It's been a few years and I don't think there's anyone there that I confidently say is a friend of mine. At my last job, I had at least a couple of people I was good friends with and I think that greatly helped my attitude and outlook while I was there.

I'm also being pushed into more of a team lead position, which I feel has set up me up for failure. I don't know my team well enough and I lack the confidence that is needed to be in that position. I have the longest tenure on my team which is why I believe I'm being picked for it but I don't necessarily feel I am the best choice. It's already difficult for me as is to get by but now more responsibility is being lumped on. If I was in person and was there for all the conversation that takes place in person vs remote and I was closer with my teammates, then I think I would feel a bit more solid taking on the position but I'm in a situation where I'm too far away to make that a reality.

I think I'm definitely burnt out/depressed as a result of all this and I'm not really sure where to go from here. I want to at least hold on for a few more months so that I can build up a more robust emergency fund. Definitely venting a bit here but it would also be nice to hear from anyone with advice or if they've been in a similar situation.