My experience with Lil Ugly Mane was limited going into this article. I had only heard Mista Thug Isolation, at this point an underground classic which I have revisited several times throughout the years. Mista Thug Isolation is a bleak, weird album that is both gripping and grating. So, I had to ask myself why I never spent more time with the elusive artist’s catalogue. Popping on Oblivion Access almost immediately reminded me why.

This is bleak music, like if early Swans made hip hop. No, it isn’t as noisy and intense, musically, but Lil Ugly Mane’s sense of existential dread is borderline nihilistic. The Bandcamp description of the album states, ‘Oblivion Access is the last of the filthy water funneling out of the bathtub I’ve been soaking in for 5 years,’ and that is where the appeal lies. Like a death metal album, Mane is interested in, and descriptive of, the bile and shit and viscera of the human experience, but unlike Cannibal Corpse, these grotesqueries are more metaphorical than literal.

The first bars on Oblivion Access are, ‘Social, self-obsessive species, everything is peachy/having cyber interactions, get erections from the TV/vocal ‘bout opinions, ‘bout elections up in DC/with a total lack of knowledge, rope around your neck was easy,’ an immediately poignant observation that touches on the self-centered anti-intellectualism that has plagued the United States for the last 50 years, at least, growing and festering like an ignored wound, gangrenous and seeping the effluvia of potential and worn proudly like a badge for millions of other dipshits to see. Yeah, this is bleak, but damnit if I don’t find some comfort in this putrid, discolored bath water.

Like Swans or Ramleh or Spiritual Poison or innumerable noise and industrial artists, Lil Ugly Mane occupies a space in the musical landscape that is akin to those Nietzsche-obsessed philosophy bros you may have encountered in college. At times, their axioms may seem reductionist or callously blunt, but there are nuggets of truth in their grim nature, holding up a mirror to humanity and plainly speaking out about the pockmarks, blackheads, and blemishes that we often disregard as we focus on laugh lines and rebrand moles as ‘beauty marks’. Their voices are just as, if not sometimes more, important than the toxic positivity crowd, tempering overzealous hopefulness with the cruel realities of the world.

Admitting that he ‘doesn’t know anything’ is more than a Platonic humility, ‘facts are human arrogance, we only know a fraction,’ Mane spits on “Columns”, still the first track with lyrics, following a noise introduction. He turns his dry observation to death, often on tracks like “Grave Within A Grave” and “Collapse And Appear”, the latter of which he admits that ‘the towel rack reminds me of the handles pallbearers grip tightly on the way out of church.’ The instrumental track “Leonard’s Lake” is a nod to the serial killer Leonard Lake. He flirts with suicide on “Persistence”, saying, ‘the only hoes I care about, pumping in the pipe fumes/car running, windows up, hoping I’ma die soon,’ as if he was sent to Earth to destroy party rap.

Echoes of hope do remain, however. “Slugs”, a song about economic collapse and the dire survivalism many experience under capitalism sees resilience in the titular invertebrates. ‘Slugs is just snails without shells/the perception: evolution fucked them over and failed/but they survive without protection in this jungle they dwell/with giants throwing salt all on their people, can’t consider them frail,’ he raps in the verse. Even if in our arrogance and ignorance we are nothing but slugs, at least we are survivors against all odds.

Production-wise, Oblivion Access navigates between harsh noises, dark ambiance, and lo-fi hip hop beats. It is easy to see why Lil Ugly Mane is so often connected in memes to the most depressing experimental albums people can think of rather than with other underground rap artists. Lil Ugly Mane’s legacy can be felt in his contemporaries like Clipping. and Dälek as well as on newer albums, like the noise intro on Pink Siifu’s latest album from just over a week ago. Oblivion Access was also the inspiration for the music festival of the same name.

Though I may only revisit Lil Ugly Mane rarely, it is hard to deny the part of me that really digs and appreciates what he has done, here. This barren outlook on life is also what attracted me to All Portrait No Chorus by Doseone & Steel Tipped Dove earlier this year and the more cynical lyrical moments from acts like Armand Hammer and Death Grips or, for that matter, even El-P’s dystopian world view. I will still be bumping acts like Clipse and Westside Gun while they talk about their wealth and extravagance more often, but Oblivion Access and Lil Ugly Mane at large will always occupy the most hardened and black parts of my heart.