I Finally Got a Walking Pad to Store Under the Bed and Never Use

McSweeney's Internet Tendency3 min read
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We Have Achieved Our Goal of Making Everything Worse Than It Was Before

McSweeney's Internet Tendency3 min read
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Here at H&R Block, It’s Our Pleasure to Answer Your Questions About How We Funnel Your Tax Dollars Into the Gullet of the Great War Pig

McSweeney's Internet Tendency3 min read
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Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Thomas McGuane

McSweeney's Internet Tendency8 min read
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America’s Op-ed Columnists Brainstorm Future Headlines About the Birth Rate

McSweeney's Internet Tendency3 min read
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Cover Letter for a Job I Don’t Want

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Treasure Collecting

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An Open Letter to My Eight-Year-Old Following His Harrowing Battle with Norovirus Early on a School Day

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Relax, We Can’t Invoke the Twenty-Fifth Amendment Every Time a President Threatens to Murder Millions of People

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Reviews of New Food: Hormbles Chormbles

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The Shocking Truth About This President That We’ve Been Sitting on for Months Is Now Available for Preorder

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President Nyarlathotep Is Simply Engaging in Classic “Mad Outer God” Negotiating Tactics

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An Excerpt from Johanna Gohmann and Emily Flake’s New Book All Toddlers Are Scorpios

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My Country vs. My Country

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Exist.Female

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What’s Happened to the Party of Lincoln?

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I Still Believe in the Inherent Goodness of Humankind, and the Literal Existence of the Easter Bunny

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Excerpts from The Believer: The USA Ultimate Masters Championships

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Jesus Died for Our Sin, Just One Sin, and It’s Yours, Harold

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I Came to Washington to Represent the People in My Walls

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
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