I’m the L.A. Doll in John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Small Town,” and I Hate This Godforsaken Shithole

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Some Autistic Thoughts on Joy, and a Sneak Peek at My Debut Fiction

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Board Game Developer’s Notes During the First Playtest of Jumanji

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We Can Reform the Atrocity Machine

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Everything You Need to Remember Before the Final Season of Time Warriors

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I Work at Disney World’s Hall of Presidents, and You People Need to Stop Eyefucking Animatronic Franklin Pierce

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Welcome to Books, For Men™

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Excerpts from The Believer: The Worst Shot Ever Taken

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If You Would Rather Not Receive Our Presidents’ Day Sale Emails This Year, We Totally Get It

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Give Us Access to Your Ring Camera and Maybe We’ll Find Your Dog

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Will You Be My Situation-tine?

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Reviews of New Food: Trolli Gummi Pops

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The Next Innovation in Higher Education: Vibe-Teaching™

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Ask Mike Tyson: Can I Have This Food or Drink?

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The AI Prompt I Used to Write My Self-Published Memoirs

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Chronicles of a Catsitter: Ithaca is Gorges

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Airborne Thoughts of an Olympic Ski Jumper

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I’m Correlation—Here’s Why I Shot Causation at a Harvard Medical School Conference

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Why Is Everyone So Angry? This Is What We Voted for, Right?

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When I Invited All of You Over to Watch the “The Big Game,” I Assumed You Knew I Was Talking about Human Chess

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