The Onion theonion.com

Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys

theonion.com·10w

Pentagon Cuts Ties With Anthropic Over AI Safeguards

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Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega

theonion.com·10w

Academy Museum Acquires Original Disney Adult

theonion.com·10w

Comes With The Mugs

theonion.com·10w

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

theonion.com·10w

Best Get-Laid Plan

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Ayatollah Killed In U.S. Airstrike

theonion.com·10w

Joe Mazzulla Reiterates Jayson Tatum Will Not Return Until He Passes The ‘Mazzulla Logic-Puzzle Meridian’

theonion.com·10w

Both Siblings Quietly Pray They Get On Kiss Cam

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Human Arm Hanging Limply Out Of Food Delivery Robot

theonion.com·10w

Nation Admittedly Curious To Hear How Trump Pronounces ‘Strait Of Hormuz’

theonion.com·10w

Mitch Nagler

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I Am The God Of Your Children. I Am The Final Parent.

theonion.com·10w

Price Of Teeth Rises

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Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral

theonion.com·10w

Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran

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Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

theonion.com·10w

Data Centers By The Numbers

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NYPD Arrests Man For Hitting Officers With Snowball

theonion.com·10w

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