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You know you done goofed when the State Police call in the Dept. of Agriculture for backup [Strange]

At 10:30PM ET it's Noise Factor METAL TIME The recent pickups keep coming with new tracks from The Valley, Freedom Run, Cancer Bats, and Aeon Temple. Also a mashup cover so insane and awesome I want it to be a complete surprise. All this and more

Subby is happy to report that the attorney of the shiatbag charged with hurling the rock at the monk seal is devastated that people thought he was trying to hurt the seal and that he only wanted to scare him, so we cool? Cool

"This is the worst time for human rights in the United States, maybe since the Civil Rights Movement"...so far [Scary]

Photoshop these hearing aids [Photoshop]

Timmy becomes a lord of the underworld [Sad]

Show #514 of the NEW but not necessarily IMPROVED Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) brings you 2 hours of music from the late 50s thru the early 80's this time with a LIVE DJ, on The Adventures of Superman, "Metropolis Football Team Poisoned" continues

Get me Mungo Jerry [PSA]

GOAT goats save family [Spiffy]

Golden Tempo is out and Iron Honor is now the favorite at 9:2, with Taj Mahal, Chip Honcho, and Incredibolt all at 6:1 and The Hell We Did a dark horse at 15:1. Grab a crab cake and a Black-Eyed Susan, it's the 151st Preakness Stakes at 6:50 PM ET on NBC

Bathrooms will be available by summer. We apologize for the incontinence [Strange]

Lane closed, merge left, get shot [Scary]

Here's your dinner... it's a trap [Interesting]

Drinking and driving is no longer just a laughing matter [Weird]

Photoshop this former lake [Photoshop]

Time to reinforce our defenses and man the ramparts, the giants are self-organizing [Interesting]

Oklahoma woman discovers the man she married over a quarter century ago really isn't named Jeff, but Ronald [Awkward]

San Dimas Hidden Cameras Rule [Strange]

Take comfort in the fact that you can now bring rotisserie chickens to eat on the plane [Silly]

The Merriam-Webster word of the day for May 16 is kiki, as in "Don't go breaking my heart when you talk about me at the kiki, Dee" [Amusing]

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