Observing Without Absorbing: The Missing Skill Behind Co-Regulation (opens in new tab)

A wife notices her husband is unusually quiet at dinner. By dessert, she is anxious. By bedtime, they are both anxious. Neither can quite explain what happened. Nothing significant occurred between them. No argument. No crisis. No bad news. An emotion simply migrated. Most couples have experienced some version of this phenomenon. One partner becomes worried, discouraged, overwhelmed, irritated, or fearful. Before long, the emotional state has spread across the relationship like weather moving...