The Erotics of Competence: Why Competence Is Attractive in Long-Term Relationships (opens in new tab)

For most of human history, attraction was partly organized around reality. Could this person survive a winter? Could they solve problems? Could they carry weight? Could they be trusted when circumstances became difficult? Today, many of us spend hours each day looking at attractive strangers whose ability to navigate reality is completely unknown. This is historically unusual. We know what they look like. We know where they vacation. We know what they eat. We know which filter they use. We kn...