Let’s be brutally honest. At this point, nearly two decades in, there are still no—I repeat, no—significant legal use cases for cryptocurrency. Bitcoin, the supposed genesis of this revolution, was conjured in 2008. In tech years, that’s practically prehistoric—barely younger than the iPhone, positively ancient compared to Apple Pay. For 17 agonizing years, crypto advocates have shrieked from the rooftops that blockchain tokens will imminently displace conventional finance with widespread leg...

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