No one walks down the aisle thinking about the exit, but divorce still finds its way to about one in three Americans who’ve ever been married, according to Pew Research.

And when it does, it can upend every corner of your life — from where you live to how you parent to what’s left in your bank account. (1)

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Even in the most civil separations, dividing finances can get messy. But when a soon-to-be ex starts getting creative with the numbers, heartbreak can quickly turn into financial blindsiding.

Family law attorney Emily Rubenstein says most people imagine “hiding money” as something dramatic, like stashing large sums offshore or tucking them into a secret account. But, as she told The Washington Post, that kind of move is“pretty easy to see in banking documents.” (2)

Rubenstein recalls one case where a client’s spouse had been withdrawing small amounts of cash from an ATM every week for three years. The pattern looked harmless — even routine — until the total reached more than $100,000 that couldn’t be accounted for.

“I’ve seen all these games many times,” Rubenstein said.

If you’re not quite at the stage of filing but something feels off, there are signs worth watching for before you’re served and blindsided.

When it comes to divorce, it’s not always about the money — sometimes it’s about the stuff.

From lawn mowers to luxury handbags, household assets meant to be divided can go missing long before the paperwork is filed.

Hanna Morell, an Oregon-based financial coach, noticed something strange when she couldn’t find her family’s lawn mower while cataloging items for her lawyer. The mystery deepened until she discovered her husband had rented part of a storage unit from a friend.

She wasn’t alone in her suspicions. A recent study found that more than 40% of married or cohabitating U.S. adults have kept a financial secret from their partner. (3) That tracks closely with a 2021 National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) survey showing 43% have engaged in some form of financial deception. (4)

Morell decided to get proactive by snapping photos of valuables around the house she suspected might go missing. When they did, she confronted her husband, who claimed he had “no idea” where they’d gone. But during the divorce proceedings, those photos became evidence.