Dec. 14, 2024

• Books and book chapters
• Essays, poems, and short fictions

I’ve long resisted writing “best of,” “annual review,” or similar posts. Besides my distaste for listicles, I also question my credibility in recommending artistic works, given my limited exposure to and understanding of such material.

This year, however, has seen some significant changes in my preferences and priorities — much more fiction and much less tech, among others — the cause of which I have yet to locate. Thus, I think it worthwhile to take a snapshot of things I found memorable these days for autobiographical purposes. (By “memorable” I mean a work that I find myself frequently thinking of or returning to for its artistic or didactic eloquence, or one with elements I find particularly relatable or empathy with.)

It would be fun to see how I, at some point in the future, would think of this specific iteration of my aesthetic and epistemology. The list is also a good outlet to share some of my fragmented thoughts that are too trivial to be written on their own. Solipsistic though the motivation is, I’d be humbled if passersby could find one entries or two interesting or leave comments.

Now, therefore, under penalty of a future me’s contempt, I offer my bibliography of this year as follows —

Books and book chapters

Ahmed, Sara. “Happy Objects.” In The Promise of Happiness: 21–49. Duke University Press, 2010 [full text]. Despite being categorized as a feminist work, Ahmed’s deconstruction of happiness as a sociopolitical construction feels germane and personal, because the framework helps to understand things I have experienced and am experiencing, particularly the disagreements with my parents on certain career and life decisions. For Ahmed, the perceived value of something often stems from a preexisting social judgment, which then generates a “promise of happiness” — a conditional assurance that specific acquisitions or actions will inevitably lead to fulfillment. This promise can be so compelling that, for example, parents may endure disappointments by rationalizing it as a sacrifice for the benefit of future generations. Furthermore, the promise of happiness functions as a disciplinary mechanism by indoctrinating a “right” way to react to and make sense of the world; the good life thus becomes a life that is “lived in the right way, by doing the right things, over and over again.” This is exemplified in the perceived duty of children (or, more broadly, those in subordinate positions) to make the parents (or those in positions of authority) happy by showing signs of being happy in the right way; failure to comply with this performative expectation is often interpreted as negativity and met with disapproval. I also find an ally in Ahmed’s counter-narrative to “put the hap back into happiness,” that is, instead of presuming happiness to be a good thing that we should aim for, to witness it as a precarious possibility and something that comes and goes as life does. See also Bilge Ebiri, “Where the Light Comes Through,” review of Perfect Days, directed by Wim Wenders, The Criterion, July 16, 2024 [archived copy] (reviewing a film centered on an introverted bathroom cleaner who speaks little but radiates contentment and peace in his work, yet still experiences waves of emotion in the last scene, and interpreting it as an admission that happiness is elusive, and that even those who find it must work to keep it). Carson, Anne. Eros the Bittersweet: An Essay. First Princeton classics printing. Princeton Classics. Princeton University Press, 2023. I’m not sure how to define this book, but find myself returning to it throughout the year for, among others, literary criticism, reading guides, personal consultation, and writing methodology. Formally a meditation on ancient Greek poetry, the book assesses the “edges” between the lover and the beloved, the writer and the written, and the reader and the writer. In each pair, the former’s attempt to reach the latter is complicated by something in between and out of control that both connects and separates them — the erotic, glukupikron (bittersweet) experience. The book thereby provides an ameliorating framework as it unifies the apparently unintelligent suffering from infatuation with the highbrow pursuit of literary perfection. In the end, it turns out we’re all lone minds desiring the unknown while being scared by it, and it’s the very act of reaching out for the perpetual gap yonder that we are in love with. Dinesen, Isak (Tania Blixen). “The Deluge at Nordeney” and “The Dreamers.” In Seven Gothic Tales. Modern Classics. Penguin, 2002 [full text, Chinese translation]. I was coincidentally led to the book by an acute quote from it I saw elsewhere (“The cure for anything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea.”), and I ended up spending a weekend finishing it. The two stories I like the most in it both explore self-reinvention through intricate narratives-within-narratives. In the former, four flood-stranded individuals share tales of reclaiming their identities, while the latter follows a soprano who disowns her old self after losing her cherished voice, which was the center of her career. By telling the stories of selves being fabricated and redeemed, Dinesen seems to encourage embracing the fundamental fragility of identities and theatricality in self-invention. As one character advises, “Be not afraid of absurdity; do not shrink from the fantastic. […] Be brave, be brave!” See also Yukio Mishima, “From the Wilderness [荒野より],” translated by John Nathan, The New Yorker, October 27, 2024 [archived copy] (tracing a home invasion by an obsessed fan before evolving into a deeply personal confession of profound loneliness, written four years before Mishima’s death by ritual suicide). Ferrante, Elena. The Neapolitan Novels, Books 1—4. Europa Editions, 2015 [Chinese translation]. I had heard the hype in the U.S. surrounding Ferrante’s works but didn’t expect to spend 30 hours immersed in the 1,700-page quartet, left with a book hangover by their challenging emotional intensity and complex dynamics. As mentioned in my longer notes, I was most impressed by the concept of smarginatura (dissolving margins), exploring how boundaries of the self can threaten to shatter if held too tightly in the face of emotional or physical turmoil, and how it’s legitimate to think and feel intensely, challenging my tendency to suppress reactions. I also resonated with the protagonist switching between Italian and Neapolitan dialect subconsciously, paralleling my relationship with English and Mandarin — using different languages to navigate aspects of identity and emotional expression. (I binge-watched the first three seasons of the namesake TV series immediately after reading the books and followed the final season when it aired in September.) See also Elena Ferrante, The Lost Daughter [La Figlia Oscura], Europa Editions, 2008 [Chinese translation] (following the complex mother-daughter relationships and the suffocating nature of Naples through the story of a middle-aged professor who becomes obsessed with a young mother and daughter at the beach, triggering memories of her own troubled past as a mother who abandoned her children). Hackett, Elizabeth, and Sally Anne Haslanger, eds. Theorizing Feminisms: A Reader. Oxford University Press, 2006. Public discourse on feminism on the Chinese internet, although justifiably emerging and necessary given the masses’ rudimentary literacy on this issue, is intellectually unsatisfying. It often gets trapped in cycles of trading personal grievances and antagonistic accusations, and its theoretical depth, if present, is limited to the works of a select few scholars. Trying to approach the topic more rigorously, and with the required humility as someone without the direct bodily experience thereof, I discovered this comprehensive anthology through MIT OpenCourseWare’s “Feminist Thought” curriculum. (The lecture notes on the course website are great learning material, too.) I like how it draws out a clear genealogy of three “approaches” — namely, the sameness/humanist approach (arguing that both sexes share fundamental human capacities and should therefore be equal), the difference/gynocentric approach (emphasizing the distinct female perspectives and values against masculine-centered norms), and the dominance approach (questioning how gender functions as a system of social hierarchy rather than mere difference) — and prefaces each group of materials with an essay grounding theoretical frames. Unfortunately, the book is pretty old and not easily available. (I got a copy with the help of a remote scanning service.) However, the table of contents itself is a good starting point, and most of the works it collects can be found online with quick searches. See also Hélène Cixous, “The Laugh of the Medusa,” translated by Keith Cohen and Paula Cohen, Signs 1, no. 4 (1976): 875–93 [full text, Chinese translation] (calling for the écriture féminine with which women write free of the conventional rules and bridges the gap between the physicality of the female body and their authorship). Plato. Lysis, Phaedrus, and Symposium. Translated by W.R.M. Lamb and Harold N. Fowler. Perseus Digital Library. Accessed December 5, 2024. I’ve been nagged by my father for so long (since at least my freshman year in college, I don’t know) to read Republic as it’s an “essential classic” that I’ve grown an aversion to Plato’s name. I was thus surprised to find myself pick up this trinity of dialogues, which turned out to be quite readable and relatable. While knowing it’s all figurative and unrealistic, it’s hard not to be impressed by the evocative imagery therein — the “broad sea of beauty” at the higher end of the scala amoris (Symp., 210a–212a), as well as the “divine madness” in which one is reminded of the heavenly entourage by the vision of earthly attachment and inspired towards the immortal, true beauty (Phdr., 249d–257a). (I found “Approaching Plato” by Mark Anderson and Ginger Osborn a particularly helpful guide for me to navigate the obscure text of Plato’s, and Zhu Guangqian’s version the best among available Chinese translations.)

Essays, poems, and short fictions

Chiang, Ted. “Why A. I. Isn’t Going to Make Art.” The New Yorker, August 31, 2024 [archived copy]. Effectively a sequel to last year’s “ChatGPT Is a Blurry JPEG of the Web,” Chiang reiterates his skepticism of Gen AI’s ability to mimic how humans produce art. For him, to “create” means to make a series of implicit decisions that far exceeds the capacity of text prompts, and without an intention to communicate, LLMs are not even “users” of language — a system of communication — by definition. He also warns of a dismal future where people will be busy parsing LLM-generated content from others with LLMs’ help. Ultimately, the efforts and lived experiences in human works are not to be matched by LLMs’ sole ability to average and mimic. See also Taylor Majewski, “It’s Time to Retire the Term ‘User’,” MIT Technology Review, April 19, 2024 (encouraging using more precise, contextual terms that better reflect the actual relationships between people and technology, instead of defaulting to the bland, dehumanizing term “user”). Davis, Allison P., Alistair Kitchen, Alyssa Shelasky, Anya Kamenetz, and Bindu Bansinath. “A Practical Guide to Modern Polyamory.” The Cut, January 16, 2024 [archived copy]. It’s hard to be online without hearing about poly these days and this extensive feature gave me a primer on the topic. I’m still not sure that I can comfortably accept its ethos but do acknowledge it’s more than sensual insatiability but a legitimate form of partnership (after unanimous, informed consents from all parties, of course) with its own set of checks and balances. See also Mao Mao Chai, “What Is an Ethical ‘Open Relationship’?,” The Initium, November 30, 2024 [archived copy] (retrospecting on personal engagements in multiple typical and open relationships). Elliott-McCrea, Kellan. “What We Mean to Others.” laughingmeme.org (blog), May 12, 2024 [archived copy]. A lovely, short piece reflecting on nostalgic connections with aging fellow nerds. I resonate with the melancholy of having “[grown] up with an internet that seemed an unalloyed good” but is now a “whiff of brimstone, greed, and ruin around the place,” as well as the contradictory feelings toward old friends — a feeling marked by the tension between the caution against bothering others with “the grinding details” of daily life and the cherishing of personal updates from them. Haigney, Sophie. “How Group Chats Rule the World.” The New York Times, January 17, 2024 [archived copy]. I’ve participated extensively in group chats this year and recognize the consolidation, consolation, and companionship derived from these “webs of social dynamics,” all weaved out of their apparent whimsy and superficiality. I also share the author’s appreciation for how a group chat allows its members to experience events both separately and jointly at the same time, by being “a live document” they’ve built together. See also Sriram Krishnan, “Group Chats Rule the World,” sriramk.com (blog), May 19, 2024 [archived copy] (summarizing key characteristics — or quirks — of a thriving group chat). Herbert, George. “Love (III).” Poetry Foundation. Accessed December 6, 2024 [archived copy]. I had never known that a religious poem could be written like this. The mastery of the poem is demonstrated when you realize how you can freely swap all instances of “love” with “God” or “agape” to reveal its spiritual core, while you can just read it literally, where it still captures a dynamic perfectly applicable to mundane love. There is so much weight in the final line’s simple act to “sit down and eat,” which doubles as an emotional surrender despite the claimed unworthiness. See also T. S. Eliot, “Little Gidding,” in Four Quartets, 49–59, New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1943 [full text] (exploring spiritual transformation and divine unity through cyclical time and mystical experience, drawing on Julian of Norwich’s vision of divine love with the reassuring promise that “all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”). Karlsson, Henrik. “Looking for Alice.” Escaping Flatland (blog), January 17, 2023 [archived copy]. I’m usually not really interested in personal history essays, particularly those about relationships, but this one somehow clicked, presumably due to the author’s introspective and restrained bearing that I find empathy with. I’ve yet to master the suggested method of leading meaningful conversations by locating a “strange and unstable realm” of experiences (I’m tragically bad at making any small talk, to be honest), but I appreciate the author charting the territory out. Lemmer-Webber, Christine. “How Decentralized Is Bluesky Really?” Dustycloud Brainstorms (blog), November 22, 2024 [archived copy]. A timely, informed critique of the AT Protocol that powers Bluesky, as we’re seeing another exodus from the deteriorating X/Twitter by the end of 2024. I found it particularly helpful to learn about the fundamental difference between the architectures of ActivityPub and the AT Protocol: the former follows a “message passing” architecture, as email services do, where messages are delivered to (and only to) the accounts that have subscribed to them, while the latter operates on a “shared heap,” where it’s the responsibility of each instance to filter through a relay to find messages relevant to its users. Much of these X-killers’ quirkiness can be explained thereby. See also Elizabeth Lopatto, “Toward a Unified Taxonomy of Text-Based Social Media Use,” The Verge, February 1, 2024 [archived copy] (arguing that the success of social media platforms depends on the dynamics between different user types, even though some of them seem off-putting individually); Pete Resnick, “On Consensus and Humming in the IETF,” Internet Engineering Task Force, June 2014 [archived copy] (outlining a decision-making approach that emphasizes addressing technical objections rather than counting votes, where consensus is considered achieved when all substantive issues have been properly considered — even if not accommodated — regardless of the number of supporters or opponents.) Li, Jielin. “伊人在暹羅 [They Are in Thailand].” The Initium. November 18, 2024 [archived copy]. A family story of the migration history between Teochew and Thailand, to the latter I’ve grown a fuzzy, homey feeling after an impactful team retreat. The narrative isn’t particularly dramatic (for which you’ll want to watch Lahn Mah [姥姥的外孙], directed by Pat Boonnitipat, 2024), but it distinguishes itself by writing unapologetically and audaciously with Teochew vocabulary. The gulps of notes (more than 150 of them) spread between sections effectively become a paratext that’s not only a tool non-native speakers must keep handy to decipher the main story, but also itself a testament of the culture. The story also adds to the rarely appreciated corpus of Chinese expats’ experiences in non-Western settlements, which turns out to have no less of the complexity and nuance than their counterparts in the West. See also Shuang Xuetao, “Paris Friend [巴黎朋友],” translated by Jeremy Tiang, The New Yorker, November 24, 2024 [archived copy, full text in Chinese] (exploring the complex dynamics of connection and displacement through a Beijing writer’s pursuit of an online friend in Paris, weaving together themes of childhood trauma, expatriate life, and the blurry line between truth and fiction in digital relationships). Li, Yiyun. “The Seventy Percent.” Harper’s Magazine, December 2024 [archived copy]. From a Chinese American writer I admire a lot, a sober call for thorough thinking before rushing to cancel in the light of the posthumous disputes around Munro and the book banning campaigns rising in the US. While it’s not rare to see articles against the overzealotry in identity politics and public cancellation, Li’s upbringing in the Communist China adds to the cultural and evidential weight of her argument: it’s a traditional wisdom to recognize that there’s rarely perfect thing in life, and a societal fixation on dang’an [personal dossier] will bring nothing but a hellish circulation of spite. It’s perfectly fine to hold creators with personal flaws accountable and historical figures by contemporary moral standards, while continuing to appreciate their works as separate entities. Ultimately, clarity arrives only via a tolerance of ambiguity “both in literature and in life,” and much would be lost if conviction instead becomes the goal of reading and writing. See also Caroline Noël, “Who Do They Think They Are?,” Literary Review of Canada, August 2, 2024 [archived copy] (highlighting the dangers of conflating artistic excellence with personal virtue); Dean Kissick, “The Painted Protest: How Politics Destroyed Contemporary Art,” Harper’s Magazine, December 2024 [archived copy] (criticizing the contemporary art for the shift from experimental and innovative approaches to a focus on identity politics and social justice issues). Mantel, Hilary. “Royal Bodies.” London Review of Books, February 21, 2013 [archived copy]. It was penned not long after Kate became Duchess of Cambridge and proved to be prescient in light of earlier this year’s speculations and conspiracy theories on her health; I was open-mouthed by how the British media was willing to scrutinize and chase after HRH when I found this essay. While not directly referring to the theoretical terms, it makes a unique case of intersectionality by comparing a royal lady to a “royal vagina,” and the body of the monarch to “public property.” That is, they face a specific form of objectification that combines gendered oppression with their institutional role; they are victims of their pedestal. I agree with the author’s sentiment that to be privileged doesn’t mean to have contracted out one’s humanity, and accountability need not be in the form of paparazzing. Whether monarchy is “a suitable institution for a grown-up nation,” and whether you feel pious and reverent toward it, there’s a civilized option to “back off and not be brutes.” Messerschmidt, Mat. “Over Man.” The Point Magazine, August 16, 2024 [archived copy]. These days the word “masculinity” is (rightfully) associated with the modifier “toxic,” which leaves open the question of whether and what affirmative masculinist elements could exist. Turning to Nietzsche’s approach to masculinity, the essay challenges the feminist criticism of his celebration of power and self-assertion as misogynistic rhetoric, and instead interprets his philosophy of will to power — creating meaning through creative destruction and self-overcoming in a world without fixed values — as a powerful message to those navigating gender identity in modern times, even as it transcends gender itself. I hadn’t learned much about Nietzsche before and remain open about how textually accurate this interpretation is, but was indeed persuaded to read some Nietzsche, and have so far enjoyed his paradoxical wisdom that one must both assert and question oneself, as spoke Zarathustra: “Now I bid you lose me and find yourselves; and only when you have all denied me will I return to you.” See also Hua Hsu, “Should We Expect More from Dads?,” The New Yorker, June 16, 2024 [archived copy] (exploring the challenges of modern fatherhood in meeting new expectations while dealing with traditional masculine norms); Nigel Warburton, “What Hannah Arendt Proposed as an Alternative to Authenticity,” Aeon, July 18, 2024 (discussing Arendt’s rejection of a preexisting, true self in favor of “the will” — an inner faculty of conscious decision-making that operates through tension and conflict, always in relation to others and the world, parallel to some extent to the Nietzschean will to power but more relational and grounding). Singh, Manvir. “Are Your Morals Too Good to Be True?” The New Yorker, September 9, 2024 [archived copy]. A thoughtful discussion on whether our moral actions are genuinely altruistic or if they are primarily motivated by self-interest and social rewards, an issue that has sometimes led to my self-doubts. It was thus relieving to read that “[t]here is no contradiction between saying that humans have genuine moral feelings and that these feelings have been shaped to guide them when playing games of social interactions.”