November 6th, 2025 ​*A newsletter by *Anne-Laure Le Cunff​

Hello friends,

I’m writing this edition from Paris where I get to celebrate the launch of the French edition of Tiny Experiments - out today! - with my family.

This is a special moment, as my mom doesn’t speak English and will be able to read my work for the first time ever.

If you or someone you know speaks French, you can order a copy via Amazon, la Fnac, or Place des Libraires.

And if you enjoyed the book, please consider leaving an online review for your local edition. This is one of the best ways to support my work (with hopefully more books in the future).

As I’m celebrating this milestone, I’ve been thinking about how even wonderful achievements bring unexpected changes – new pressures, expectations, shifts in how others see you. So in this week’s essay we’ll reflect on our relationship to success.

Enjoy the read, and stay curious! Anne-Laure.

🏆 The Science of Strategic Success

We’ve all felt that familiar knot in our stomach when facing the possibility of failure. It’s the subject of countless articles, TED talks and self-help books: how to face it, learn from it, bounce back from it. We’ve become experts at preparing for things to go wrong.

But here’s what’s rarely discussed: our complicated relationship with things going right.

What if the project takes off beyond your wildest expectations? What if the funding comes through? What if that promotion you’ve been angling for actually lands on your desk next week?

“What if it works out?” is a question that can reveal a lot about your true desires and fears. What changes when you get what you think you want? And more importantly, do you really want those changes?

The Brain’s Complicated Relationship with Success

Research suggests that the brain’s threat detection system reacts not just to danger, but to any kind of unpredictability. That’s why even positive change such as success, recognition, or new opportunities can produce anxiety.

Think about the last time you got unexpectedly good news. Along with the joy, did you feel a flutter of “Oh no, now what?” That’s your brain trying to regain control of an uncertain situation.

When faced with this discomfort, most people instinctively choose one of two paths. Some pull back and avoid the unknown altogether. Others push forward aggressively, trying to dominate the uncertainty through sheer force of will.

Fear of success represents the avoidance mode. Psychologically, it’s driven by loss aversion. Success often requires giving up things we value: comfort, privacy, freedom, predictability, or even a familiar sense of self. These losses can feel more real than the abstract benefits success might bring.

Blind pursuit of success is the opposite reaction: autopilot ambition. We chase success for the security and validation it promises, assuming that more is automatically better, without pausing to examine whether it truly fits the life we want to build. We end up climbing ladders only to discover they’re leaning against the wrong wall.

Both are understandable reactions, but neither is particularly strategic.

But there’s a third option: strategic success. Instead of reacting instinctively to uncertainty, we create space to ask what success would actually mean for our lives and whether those changes align with our deeper values and priorities.

It’s the shift from reaction to reflection, from seeking control to making conscious choices.

A Framework for Strategic Success

If you’re working toward something important right now – whether that’s a career change, a creative project, a business launch, a relationship milestone – try this brief metacognitive exercise:

1. Name the success clearly. Write down the specific outcome you’re working toward. Not the vague hope (“things work out”) but the concrete reality (“I land the VP role,” “I get this new client,” “my book gets published,” “we secure series A funding”).

2. List what would change. Consider your daily schedule, energy allocation, relationships, responsibilities, financial situation, social dynamics, and even your identity. If you became known as “the VP” or “the published author” or “the CEO,” how would that feel?

3. Ask “do I actually want that?” Would you welcome the increased visibility, or does the thought make you want to hide? Are you excited about managing a larger team, or does it sound exhausting? Do you want the financial upside enough to accept the pressure that comes with it?

4. Adjust accordingly. If some of the changes don’t appeal to you, treat this as valuable information. You might need to redefine what “success” means for you specifically or build in safeguards to protect what matters most, or even reconsider whether this particular ambition is worth pursuing.

This exercise takes about 20 minutes but it can save you years of pursuing outcomes that look good from the outside but feel wrong from the inside. It ensures that the success you’re building is one you’ll actually want to live with.

When you’ve considered what success would actually mean for your life, you can pursue it with a sense of calm clarity or consciously choose a different path entirely.

Either way, you’re no longer just hoping things work out. You’re actively designing what “working out” means for you.

🔬 Tiny Experiment of the Week

Put these ideas into practice by try this week’s tiny experiment designed to help you practice strategic success:

I will [pause and ask “do I actually want this to work out?” before saying yes to any new opportunity] for [2 weeks]

Just a quick check-in before you commit to projects. Want to dig deeper into designing your own tiny experiments? Get your copy of the book​.

🛠️ Brain Picks

• Never have a bad day again. In this free 8 minute video from nervous system expert Jonny Miller, you’ll learn techniques to avoid anxiety burnout and fall into an effortless flow state. ​**• Build a home for your community. Circle is the all-in-one community platform. Host events, courses and connect deeper with your audience by bringing together engaging discussions, members, live streams, chat, events, and memberships. ​• Your inbox wasn’t built for reading. **Move to Meco to wake up to a personalized news briefing crafted from your newsletters and use smart filters to ensure you always surface the most relevant content at the right time.

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🗓️ Brain Trust

If you enjoy the newsletter, you’ll love our community of curious minds conducting tiny experiments within a safe space and learning together. Here is an overview of upcoming events (full calendar):

• Learn the science of sober creativity. Josh Woll, filmmaker turned sobriety coach, will explore the specific patterns where alcohol limits creative potential and how sobriety compounds upward into greater flow and focus.​ • Build courage through tiny experiments. Join Gosia Fricze for a one-hour workshop to explore why courage often starts small and how experimenting with curiosity can help you move past fear and into creative action. ​• Improve your PKM system. Process your notes and chat about knowledge management during the Processing Hour with Remy Rohan and members of the PKM Collective. ​**• Makeprogress on your projects.** Our Pomodoro-based coworking sessions are hosted twice a week by Kathryn Ruge and Joshwin Greene, covering all timezones. Then, join Benjamin Covington for a weekly review on Sunday. ​**• Host your own workshop.** Do you have an idea for a short presentation and Q&A or a workshop you’d like to trial? Test your first iteration in the Ness Labs community and get feedback. We promote all sessions here in the newsletter.

All of these and future events are included in the price of the membership (only $49 for one year), as well as access to our courses, workshop library, and a dedicated space to track your tiny experiments.

Until next week, take care! Anne-Laure.