Boundaries, self-control, and initiative can be transformative.

I read this with a friend and appreciated Robbins’ warmth and humility.

After a lot of self helps books and recent re-reading of The Courage to Be Disliked, this felt like a motivational amalgam of concepts I’ve explored elsewhere with more depth. I was a little irked by the forced branding of the so-called theory and tenuous relationship to science that felt more hand-wavy than substantiated. Experts would be cited not to elaborate on research but to seemingly provide credibility for the book’s main thrust. It often seemed as though a leading expert was ushered in to say “yup, floss your teeth!”

I don’t doubt that Robbins’ advice is supported by research and sound psychology, it just seemed like the book was peppered with “this is science!” and little further explanation.

To its credit though, this was an easy read and built around the kind of succinct ideas I can actually remember and therefore make use of. “Let them” is a powerful and wonderfully-easy phrase to carry around. (In addition to “let me.” As in: let them do a thing I have no control over anyway, and let me think or act in a way that’s healthy and within my realm of concern.) I imagine that memorable framing is what makes this a popular title.

If you’re frequently tied up in other peoples’ business and not making strong choices for yourself, this may be a liberating and encouraging read. If you enjoy digging into psychology and you can already cite some favorite books about boundaries and self-control, there may not be anything new for you here.