2025-11-26
I’m feeling uninspired to write today, but that’s no excuse not to write. Something will come out of today’s entry, but I’m not sure exactly what that will be. Over the last several months, I’ve been expounding my thoughts on things and trying to write in what I suppose one would consider a higher register. There’s also the fact that I have to contend with my life being very mundane. I really don’t have a lot happening that I would find interesting to tell others, but I suppose that no news is good news.
I also have no desire to write specifics on other people because that’s not really the true purpose of this diary. This is a space where I can cultivate my inner world, not track details of the outside one. There are days, however, where even my inner world is quiet…
2025-11-26
I’m feeling uninspired to write today, but that’s no excuse not to write. Something will come out of today’s entry, but I’m not sure exactly what that will be. Over the last several months, I’ve been expounding my thoughts on things and trying to write in what I suppose one would consider a higher register. There’s also the fact that I have to contend with my life being very mundane. I really don’t have a lot happening that I would find interesting to tell others, but I suppose that no news is good news.
I also have no desire to write specifics on other people because that’s not really the true purpose of this diary. This is a space where I can cultivate my inner world, not track details of the outside one. There are days, however, where even my inner world is quiet. I genuinely don’t have a novel thing to say and there’s nothing burning in my head that needs to be extinguished. Weirdly enough, today is just an uneventful day inside of my head.
I’ve been getting a bit better with my diet lately. At least I think I am, due mostly to the fact that I’m constantly hungry but staving it off somehow. I don’t know how far my willpower will go, but over the last two weeks or so, it’s surprisingly held up. I don’t think I’ve lost any weight, though, which is a bit disheartening. It’s as if I’m starving myself for no good reason. The problem is that I deal with the hunger pangs, but I still eat a reasonable amount in terms of calories and macros. It’s just that most of the food here at home is nutritionally bankrupt and essentially poison. Most of it is processed, but there’s really not many healthy options.
I enjoy frozen vegetables. Those are seen as healthy, right? One would think so, but I noticed that in all the packages of frozen vegetables, they contain a significant amount of sugar. Sugar is the main thing that I’m trying to avoid as a diabetic, but I can’t even seem to eat vegetables anymore. More than that, I don’t really know how I’d cook with fresh produce. I’ve never done it. For my entire life, all I’ve really known is processed foods. Even in periods of significant weight loss, they were still staples in my diet; I was just somehow able to eat less of them through willpower alone.
Living at home with my parents doesn’t help either. They don’t know how to eat right and since my mom buys all of the groceries, I feel stuck in terms of my options. But even outside of that, the grocery stores in my town are mostly filled with unhealthy options. It seems as if there’s no escape, that I can’t get healthy even if I tried. There’s no clear solution to this problem, so I guess I’m just going to have to contend with my hunger and forced willpower until something reasonable comes up.
I hope that I don’t have to wait too long.