This is an entry from my journal. I write about some immediate issues I am dealing with and then comment on wider themes about not taking things for granted.

Local time is past 21:00. I am writing this on the laptop. It still has about 30% of the battery left. I got off the computer at around 18:00, when the electricity ran out. These days it is hard to keep up with my email correspondence. During the day I need to do my online meetings and maintain all the free software I have. There simply is not enough daytime for everything. I spent two hours in the morning just to bring the unread message count down to 4, only for it to rise back to double digits.

When electricity is available throughout the day, it is easy to cope with incoming emails because the workload gets distributed throughout the day. Whereas it is mentally taxing to start the morning with the digital equivalent of paperwork. And even if I put aside the willpower it takes to do this task, there are mornings when I cannot commit to it due to other responsibilities. At any rate, things will return to normal once I get and install the new battery for my solar panels. I expect it to happen in a couple of weeks or so. The long wait is almost over.

A strength of mine, which is probably a weakness too, is that I do not chill. When there is idle time, I will come up with a job to keep me busy and I will do it in earnest. Or I will go for a long hike, which is not exactly what people mean by “chilling”, anyway. At 18:00 it was already night outside, yet I decided to resume the infrastructure project I am currently working on. It is about placing large stones at the perimeter of my land in an attempt to inhibit soil erosion caused by rainfall. I was encouraged to do this at night because the near-full moon was out. I could see clearly. Otherwise I would not have taken the risk. When the moon is full, its rise roughly coincides with the sunset.

The drought continues. October went by with a single day of precipitation. That was a blessing, as we had not had rainfall since the early Spring days. But it does not suffice. The dry soil is prone to erosion as there is not enough vegetation to hold the surface together. The most common grass we encounter practically everywhere prevents a lot of damage. Absent that, these rocks are meant to perform the same function. I dig around the edges and place each stone in such a way as to turn whatever tiny water flow inwardly. No realistic level of precipitation will ever cause any issues. The objective is to not allow the formation of slides, which eventually turn into fissures.

The rocks are but a piece to the puzzle. I am expecting at least some grass to grow around them and get tangled up with them, at which point my makeshift perimetric alignment of stones will become virtually unbreakable. Whatever irrigation water I can spare will go this cause. I have done this before with the land adjacent to the stream, where I placed all sorts of obstacles and then waited for wild vegetation as well as the canes I had transplanted to do the rest. In short, I can now sleep safe in the knowledge that the threat of floods washing away my land is practically nullified.

I am sourcing the stones from the surrounding area. There are plenty of them in the mountains. I roam around with the handcart and pick up as many as I can. Sometimes I find really large boulders, which are extra useful for my purposes owning to their greater bulk and height (e.g. 40 centimetres). They are practically immovable. A few carefully places boulders can greatly reinforce my infrastructure. Plus, they look nice in alignment. I call this “Cyclopic masonry”, even though it is not a fortification per se (nor are the slabs as large as what the Mycenaeans had).

A boulder I brought into my land tonight was so heavy that I could not lift it off the ground to put it into the handcart. I had to lean the handcart to the side, roll the boulder in, hold it in place, and then lift both up with some leverage—an extra difficult and dangerous endeavour. Pushing that massive chunk of rock uphill was another major challenge. I had to take a few breaks but I did not give up. Once I brought the boulder close enough, I rolled it little by little to the exact spot I wanted it to be. Mission accomplished!

Pushing and pulling heavy weights around the mountains demands dedication. The terrain is uneven. Whenever there is a bump or minor turn the hands suffer from the extra tension as you have to put every ounce of strength into keeping your balance. To lose one’s balance in this situation is risky business. In the good scenario, the rocks will fall to the ground and you will spend a few extra minutes collecting them all again. Each weighs several kilos. In the bad scenario, you get seriously hurt. Manual labour does not require a lot of planning and thinking the way many office jobs do, though your safety is a function of your levels of concentration. Be absentminded and you shall get injured.

I remember the first summer I did construction work. I was studying at the university back then. I would carry heavy burdens like those I did today. Except that the unforgiving July sun was high in the sky. Not only was it physically painful, I had to remind myself why I was doing this. Otherwise I would not have had the mental fortitude to persevere. The job was paying handsomely and I needed the money to finance another semester of studies. This is not what people have in mind when they talk about “student life”. It is what I was doing though.

Construction work was never fun. I kept at it by reminding myself of the greater goal: to proceed with my studies. I find that it helps me to keep things in perspective, else I might develop tunnel vision. It also is benign to have a grand objective in mind, for it functions as the lodestar in the sky that orients you in moments of doubt. The hut project is the same in this regard. I know what I am setting up here and thus all the intermediate difficulties do not deter me. I am inexorable because my goal is clear and my commitment to it is devoid of doubt.

Whenever I exert my body to see through these physically demanding tasks, I draw strength from my longer-term vision. It does not make me superhuman, though it empowers me to not fool around. I am not ambivalent about it. My poise is perfect. I am not trying to negotiate with myself some exit clause, some “cheat day”, as it were. No. I am not asking; I am telling: I have to do it and shall do it. Then, when I look back at what I have achieved in my homestead and how this is becoming a beautiful rural house, I find solace in the knowledge of the originary struggle of acculturation. I know that nothing can be built without vigorous efforts and nothing can be sustained without intensity.

The Greek national anthem has this verse in reference to liberty, which I am hereby translating faithfully:

I know you [liberty] from the cutting edge
of the sword, the mighty [the mighty cutting edge]
I know you from the sight
that paces the land with violence [with haste and with violence]

Violence is a misunderstood term because people take their culture for granted. Just love and be happy is the common talking point. Sounds pretty and cute, until you think it through. These people do not realise that what holds a community or civilisation together, indeed, what gives it its impetus and endows it with rejuvenating qualities, is the eagerness to combat other forms of life and to struggle against inertia. Individuals and cultures that become complacent experience decline and are ultimately consigned to oblivion. Even love is exclusive and uncompromising. Not some hippie conception of love, but the everyday form that allows us to even be here. For example, motherly love for a baby involves extreme prejudice against potential threats, such as venomous snakes and poisonous spiders. It demands a safe environment where there is no disease, no vectors of attack, no unknown quantities. In love there is an inherent requirement to have situational awareness, to measure the place with decisiveness, and to mould your immediate milieu to fit your needs.

Not everybody needs to be extra alert and unyielding. That sort of prescription is untenable. One size does not fit all and we do not benefit from role-playing fashions to conform with some arbitrary directive. “Be a man!”… Such empty words or an exhortation for a certain kind of consumerism. All we need is to learn to tolerate those among us who have the natural inclination to do the groundwork (figuratively and literally in my case). You cannot be another. You may only accept what your condition renders inescapable.

I remember when teenage me was sent to the principal time and again because I was unruly, would brazenly leave my books under my desk, never do any homework, talk back to my professors and mock them when they appealed to their authority, and even showed them the middle finger when they insisted. In hindsight, the principal was a wise man because he understood that I was not a criminal element, but only somebody who sought a different challenge. School was incredibly dull and I did not accept sitting quiet for 8 hours straight and then parroting whatever the teacher wanted to hear. Some people can operate this way, which is useful for concerted actions and a harmonious coexistence. I speak my mind boldly and stand my ground unapologetically, which is also necessary in small doses to not fool ourselves in our little echo chambers. Some people thrive in a controlled environment. Others seek openendedness, since it is the only inexhaustible outlet for their energy. Nature is taking care of the distribution of these proclivities. We figure out how to not be judgemental about them.

The principal said to the council “Protesilaos is a lost cause when it comes to schooling, but he is philotimos.” The word “philotimos” stands for “friend of honour”. The principal saw a pro-social quality that would remain central despite my disobedience. An idiot of a principal, the kind of bureaucrat who hides behind the letter of the law, would have made an enemy out of me or had asked to diagnose me with whatever condition inconsiderate doctors are inventing for teenage boys nowadays because they cannot fathom the creative potential of innate exuberance. This is the social equivalent of remaining a prisoner of your comfort zone. It is how societies lose their edge. You have to let people go where nobody treads. This is how we push the boundaries and remain vigilant.

I am not inherently unruly. If I say something, I do it. There is no reneging on my promises. But also, I do not talk big and promise much. My word is my contract. What I did at school (and not only) was to resist heteronomy, namely to be ruled by others on grounds that appear to me as arbitrary. I have autonomy, in the dual sense of “self” and of “rule”, as I conform with my own dictates, expect consistency, and accept the consequences of my actions. This is discipline. It is what keeps my attention fixed on my projects through thick and thin.

The boulders are in place because I have a grand plan of how everything fits together. At its basis is my eagerness to proceed through compounding deeds. Tomorrow I will carry more stones. Another moonrise will light my path and I will be ready to experience it.