When I was a child, I often saw my mum at the dining table with a stack of bills, carefully working out our household’s monthly budget.

Most of her shopping for clothes or bags took place during the Great Singapore Sale, and I never once saw her opening her wallet for branded goods.

Whenever she handed over the cash for my tuition teacher’s fees, she would sigh and say that it meant no taxi rides for the rest of the month.

Watching her, I developed the habit of conscious and deliberate spending, which later shaped me into a financially literate adult.

Many of our money habits don’t actually start when we open our first bank account or receive our first pay cheque. They begin much earlier in the living room and kitchen where we watched our parents stretch every dollar, debate every purchase and make trade-offs to keep the family budget in balance.

Those early lessons, in the form of day-to-day habits, stay with us. Researchers call this financial socialisation: the process by which children pick up values, attitudes and skills about money through family influence.

They determine how we think about our needs and wants, whether we feel guilty about spending, and how we define what “enough” looks like.

But in today’s largely cashless world, that process looks very different from the one our parents knew.

Now, every tap of a credit card, parcel delivery, Grab ride, or meal outside** **sends an unspoken message about money to our kids. With these small, everyday actions, we are writing a script for our kids that dictates what “normal” looks like financially.

And in a time when cashless payments and the growing wish for instant gratification make spending easier than ever, those childhood cues may be the strongest influence on our financial discipline today.

WHEN MONEY IS JUST A TAP AWAY

When I was growing up, an empty wallet was a physical reminder that I had overspent.

Today, money rarely changes hands physically. Almost every payment is made by just tapping our card or phone. To a child watching, it can seem as though money simply flows endlessly from a digital source.

A recent Mastercard report found that 94 per cent of Gen Alpha children in the Asia Pacific have access to a financial account, and nearly half have digital wallets or investment accounts.

Some are even introducing their parents to new payment tools, essentially flipping the old narrative of who teaches whom about money.

Helping our children understand that money is finite has become harder in an era of cashless payments, but this is where hands-on experiences can help.

Perhaps the most universal example of this for kids: an allowance.

In the past, dilemmas over pocket money for kids were** **less abstract. Daily or weekly? More or less? Top-ups for extras like outings, birthday parties and concerts – or encourage our children to budget and save for such treats?

But now, digital tools make it easier than ever to plan allowances for kids – and also to disrupt those plans.

Here’s an example. What would you do if your kid texted you right now to say: “Dad/Mum, I forgot to bring my EZ-Link card out with me. Can you transfer me S$20 to take a Grab home?”

Would you PayNow them the money on the spot – after all, it’s an honest mistake, isn’t it? Or would you tell them to think creatively and figure out their own way to get home on their own dime?

TAP TO REFRESH?

A parent who says: “Here’s your money, spend wisely, and if you run out, you’ll have to wait till next week” is teaching self-control.

Another who quietly refills the wallet – digital or physical – when asked may be instilling the opposite lesson: that money can always be replenished on demand.

Each choice carries a lesson.

There is no right or wrong approach. It all depends on what we as parents want our children to learn.

Some parents are now experimenting with child-friendly digital bank accounts or prepaid debit cards that let children see their balances in real time. Last year marked the first time that kids as young as seven could have their own bank accounts and debit cards.

These tools often come with guardrails – spending limits, parental oversight and instant notifications – but more importantly, they make the abstract visible. A child who sees their balance drop after buying one too many cute erasers at the bookshop learns a lesson that no lecture can match.

Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Not every eight-year-old needs a digital wallet. The key is discernment – knowing when your child is ready to move from physical pocket money to digital tools, and ensuring the transition is intentional, guided and well-explained.

Whatever the frequency, what matters more is the consistency of the message.

After all, the goal isn’t to shield our children from modern money practices, but to help them navigate them responsibly. By starting early, when the stakes are lower, we reduce the odds of raising a generation that is financially fragile in an increasingly cashless and complex world.

WHAT STORY ABOUT MONEY ARE WE TELLING OUR CHILDREN?

Beyond allowances, there are other ways to concretise the idea of money for our kids in a digitalised world.

Do we openly talk about budgeting for the family holiday? Do they hear us debate whether it is worth spending on trendy items like Labubu dolls?

Do they hear us reason over whether to dine out or cook at home? Do we explain why we wait for sales, or why we say no to certain purchases?

These moments, when made explicit, can turn passive observation into active learning. For example, bringing your child into the discussion of how much to spend on their birthday celebration and how it affects other family expenses can teach them about trade-offs in a practical and relatable way.

A generation that sees money as frictionless – tap, swipe, parcel arrives – risks becoming one that is less conscious of the need to budget or save.

But a generation that grows up discussing choices, observing prudence and being allowed to make (and recover from) small financial mistakes will likely emerge more resilient.

At the end of the day, giving our children money is easy. Teaching them how to manage it – especially in a world where money is mostly invisible – takes more intention.

If our kids grow up seeing that spending is instantaneous and relatively painless, there is a good chance they’ll carry that same mindset into adulthood.

Conversely, if they often watch their parents save diligently, compare prices and discuss trade-offs, they internalise different lessons about choices and priorities.

The challenge for us as parents today is not just to pass on good money habits, but to help our children navigate an increasingly cashless, frictionless world with awareness and restraint.

Dawn Cher, also known as SG Budget Babe, is the author of Take Back Control of Your Money. She has been running a popular blog on personal finance for the last 10 years.