The creative industries have long romanticised struggle: the late nights, the tough love, the idea that suffering somehow produces brilliance. But what if the voice pushing you forward didn’t need to be a bully? What if the thing that sustains your creativity long-term is kindness, not pressure?

“Self-compassion” might sound soft or sentimental, but it’s really just practical. It doesn’t mean lowering your standards or letting yourself off the hook. It means recognising that you’re human – with fluctuating energy, imperfect days and comparison spirals – and responding to that with understanding rather than punishment.

That simple shift can change not just how you feel, but the work you make.

Why self-compassion matters

Research shows self-compassion increases resilience, reduces anxiety and improves performance. Yet many creatives resist it, fearing it will make them complacent.

In reality, the opposite happens. When you stop using all your mental energy to criticise yourself, you have more room to experiment, fail forward and grow.

Illustrator Annie McGee knows this well. As a disabled freelancer managing fluctuating energy, she’s had to rethink productivity from the ground up. “For me, self-compassion means going with the flow, tuning into my energy levels and knowing creativity doesn’t have to happen on a strict schedule,” she says. “As a disabled freelancer with a brain that runs at 200 ideas a second, the hardest thing I’ve learned is to pause.”

This insight cuts through the myth that rest = laziness. “Rest doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being creative, it’s part of the process,” she explains. “Some of my best ideas surface when I finally stop pushing. Treating myself with compassion means honouring that rhythm rather than fighting it, and allowing myself to rest without guilt. Rest itself is a creative act.”

Speak to yourself kindly

Self-compassion often starts with noticing your self-talk. Mixed media artist Mariana Klymchuk uses a simple check: “I just remind myself that I’m not being harsh to my loved ones, so why would I be harsh to myself?” It sounds obvious, but most of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves when something goes wrong.

Illustrator and author Juliana Salcedo has learned to interrupt that instinct. “I used to be really harsh on myself, but I realised it wasn’t helping me,” she says. “Now, when I turn on that voice, I remind myself to stop. And to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend.”

She also uses positive reinforcement. “I give myself little rewards for the things I’ve done well,” she says. “Shiny stickers work great!” This ritual may seem small, but it’s a way to acknowledge progress—something perfectionists typically refuse to do.

Creative director Roxana Burghina describes a similar shift. “My act of self-compassion? I stopped being my own grumpy creative director. You know, the one who says: ‘Really? That’s your best idea?’ before the coffee’s even kicked in.”

Now, she tries to respond with humour and curiosity. “When I mess up or hit a wall, I try to talk to myself the way I’d talk to a teammate: curious, kind and with a hint of sarcasm. ‘Okay, Picasso, maybe take a walk before setting fire to the draft?’”

Admittedly, this method is not foolproof. “Sometimes my inner critic still wins. But on the good days, this reminds me that I don’t need to bully myself into brilliance. I just need to make space for it.” Her core realisation? “Creativity isn’t a performance, it’s a relationship. And relationships thrive on kindness, not pressure.”

Remember the journey

Social media makes everyone else’s progress look faster, cleaner and shinier. But comparison tends to erase the truth of our own growth. To counteract that, graphic designer Meredith Blumenfeld actively looks back at how far she’s come. “Maybe that means looking through my portfolio or projects I’m proud of,” she explains. “It reminds me that I’ve put in the effort to be where I am and am skilled enough to do what I’m doing.”

Similarly, photographer Leon Cato focuses on reframing what success actually means. “It is very hard not to get caught up in what hasn’t happened or what I haven’t ‘accomplished,’” he points out. “But the fact is, working as a full-time creative these days means that I have already succeeded.”

Meanwhile, Ivy Chan keeps a “done journal”. As she explains: “My trick is celebrating tiny wins, pausing to feel what’s real and stealing brief moments of joy. These small acts completely shift how I show up for myself.”

Sometimes, though, compassion means stepping away from career metrics entirely. Digital designer Neil Richards does that through creative play with his daughter. “She’s one client and collaborator who is always in love with the result and the fun we have along the way,” he points out. “Making core memories with her is better than any site launch.”

Start small

If you’re used to motivating yourself through self-criticism, switching to compassion won’t happen overnight. Start with noticing the voice. Pause. Ask yourself: ‘Would I say this to someone I care about?’ If not, try again. At the same time, build small rituals that reinforce rest, progress, and presence—not just productivity.

Ultimately, you don’t need to punish yourself into brilliance. You need to support yourself through the messy, slow, uncertain parts of making meaningful work.

And that requires kindness towards the person doing the work. You.