When we see a young adult unable to cross the threshold into the next chapter of their lives, many of us judge them for their lack of discipline. Some may even try to make an example out of them: “This is what happens when you don’t have a plan.”

“The plan” here is usually the well-trodden path laid out for most people at this stage in their lives: finish high school, get your degree or get a job, move out of your parents’ home, and begin building an independent life. But in recent years, psychologists, sociologists, and concerned parents alike have noticed what seems to be a growing number of young adults who seem caught in this adolescent quicksand—unable or unwilling to take the next step into adulthood. This might look like prolonged dependence on parents for housing and finances, difficulty committing to work or education, avoidance of romantic or social commitments, or a general inertia around planning for the future.

Inspired in part by a romantic comedy of the same name, this phenomenon has informally come to be known as “failure to launch.” But beyond the pop-culture caricature of a 30-year-old who refuses to leave his parents’ basement, psychologists recognize that “failure to launch” can reflect a very real set of challenges that many young adults face.

Adjacent to the hikikomori phenomenon, “failure to launch” is not an official clinical diagnosis. However, the emotional and behavioral challenges usually associated with it can form a recognizable and concerning pattern, one that can leave a young person feeling adrift, dependent on parental support, and immobilized by the pressures of the next chapter.

In today’s cultural and economic climate, this phenomenon is more relevant than ever. Often, it’s the result of three primary (and several circumstantial) obstacles:

1. Emotional avoidance. For many young adults caught in this limbo, stress and responsibility come to represent burdens they must escape. The instinct to retreat takes over the instinct to engage. Diversions like gaming or social media soothe in the moment, offering a reprieve from anxiety, but they reinforce the very inertia that they feel fossilized in.
2. Fear of failure. Be it the workplace, academic settings, or even relationships, these spaces are all riddled with moments that could potentially expose your sense of inadequacy to those around you. The thought of disappointing others or oneself can confine people to their “safe zones.” In such a climate, the act of trying feels more dangerous than the act of waiting.
3. Family dynamics. Parents who hover too closely—always ready to smooth the path, to shield from discomfort—may unintentionally rob their children of the chance to develop resilience. Conversely, households marked by conflict or instability can leave independence feeling perilous, even unsafe. In both cases, remaining tethered to the familiar, however unsatisfying, can feel preferable to stepping into the uncertainty of adult life. The family becomes not just a support system, but also a psychological anchor, one that can either steady or immobilize.

Why is “Failure to Launch” on the Rise?

It might be easy or most intuitive to assume that the failure to launch is a personal flaw, fueled by laziness and a general lack of work ethic. After all, why would anyone look towards the bigger indicators like culture, economy, and development when it’s far more convenient to blame an individual’s deficits in structure or focus?

The following three factors explain why there is more to the story than what meets the eye:

1. Economic pressures. The cost of higher education, rising housing prices, and unstable job markets have made the transition to financial independence significantly more difficult than it was for previous generations. A Pew Research Center report found that, as of 2020, a majority of young adults in the United States (52 percent) were living with one or both parents—the highest rate since the Great Depression. Structural challenges make it harder for even motivated young people to launch successfully.
2. Delayed adolescence. Developmental psychologists have noted a trend toward what is sometimes called “emerging adulthood“—a prolonged stage between adolescence and full adulthood, often extending into the late 20s. During this time, exploration and instability are expected, but for some, the uncertainty stretches into stagnation. According to 2010 research published in the Journal of Adolescent Research, ongoing cultural shifts have normalized later ages for marriage, career stability, and parenthood, creating a wider window for failure to launch.
3. Parenting styles. Helicopter and snowplow parenting—terms for parents who hover over their children or clear obstacles from their path—may inadvertently block the development of resilience. Without opportunities to fail safely in childhood and adolescence, some young adults reach adulthood without the emotional tools to manage disappointment, responsibility, or uncertainty. Research consistently shows that autonomy-supportive parenting fosters independence, while overcontrol correlates with anxiety and avoidance.

Preparing for Re-Launch

The problem persists because we hesitate to address complex psychological, familial, and cultural forces at play. Not only that, the stigma also makes sure that we don’t often have a nuanced conversation about the real causes behind failure to launch, so we never have to face that, somewhere down the line, we might also be a part of the problem.

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Which is why the solution, at least to begin with, is two-pronged. To effectively tackle failure to launch, both internal and external factors must be addressed. This includes the emotional well-being of the individual as well as the immediate external environment.

Much like in anxiety treatment, the antidote to avoidance is incremental exposure. Encouraging young adults to take on progressively larger responsibilities—whether through part-time work, volunteering, or managing household duties—builds competence and reduces fear. Success in small steps paves the way for bigger transitions.

Parents must also carefully examine how their behaviors may reinforce dependence. Setting clear expectations around rent, chores, or timelines for independence can help shift dynamics. At the same time, maintaining emotional support while encouraging autonomy strikes a healthier balance than enabling avoidance.

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But for many, therapy will be essential. Cognitive-behavioral approaches help challenge catastrophic thinking and build problem-solving skills. In cases where depression or anxiety are significant, treatment may also involve medication. Family therapy can also be valuable for addressing entrenched relational patterns.

A version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.