HAMMERITE?
Following defeat at Leeds 10 days ago, one West Ham-supporting WAG suggested Jarrod Bowen “must feel like that one human actor in a Muppets film” in a Social Media Disgrace post that got nowhere near the amount of LOLs it deserved. And having seen their team go a goal down on Sunday, moments after their captain had spanked a shot from distance off a post, West Ham fans must have felt it was going to be another regulation day in which Bowen tried to channel his inner Michael Caine in a bid to lend some much-needed gravitas to a typically absurdist and slapstick performance. The feeling can only have been heightened when he was awarded a penalty only to see it overturned by the cur…
HAMMERITE?
Following defeat at Leeds 10 days ago, one West Ham-supporting WAG suggested Jarrod Bowen “must feel like that one human actor in a Muppets film” in a Social Media Disgrace post that got nowhere near the amount of LOLs it deserved. And having seen their team go a goal down on Sunday, moments after their captain had spanked a shot from distance off a post, West Ham fans must have felt it was going to be another regulation day in which Bowen tried to channel his inner Michael Caine in a bid to lend some much-needed gravitas to a typically absurdist and slapstick performance. The feeling can only have been heightened when he was awarded a penalty only to see it overturned by the curtain-twitchers in Stockley Park. But against all odds, West Ham dug deep and managed to eke out a rare and thoroughly deserved victory.
Helped in no small part by one of the most awful showings by a Newcastle side under Eddie Howe, the Hammers won their first game under Nuno Espírito Santo at the fifth time of asking. And having spent his first four matches in charge looking like the physical embodiment of a cold and wet Monday morning commute, it was the Portuguese manager and his staff who ended the game dancing in celebration on the touchline. “I think just the body language, the collective spirit on the pitch, loads of little things that contribute to our performance, wasn’t there,” said Howe afterwards, looking genuinely traumatised by the horror show he had seen unfold at the London Stadium. “The physicality, the energy was missing. It was hugely frustrating for us, that was a poor performance. We just weren’t ourselves.”
In winning a football match and playing well despite some early setbacks, West Ham certainly weren’t themselves either but only time will tell if their victory is a significant sign that a corner has finally been turned. They host Burnley next in a critical six-pointer before an international break that precedes a hellish run of fixtures in which Bournemouth, Liverpool, Manchester United, Brighton, Aston Villa and Manchester City could burst any bubbles they are forever blowing. “When things went against us the reaction from the boys was good and I’m pleased with the way we did it because we were up against the ropes,” said Nuno. “It’s a little step in the right direction but it’s a very important one, too.”
While Sunday was a grim day for a Newcastle side who have yet to win on the road in five league attempts this season, fans making the long journey home were at least able to console themselves with the knowledge that at least one Premier League side from the north-east is doing the region proud by defying all expectations this season. In Monday’s David Moyes-Jordan Pickford derby, Sunderland host an underperforming Everton side and know victory will take them second – second! – in the table. Apparently unfussed by the malign influence of the ‘red cartels’ and PSR rules whose entire raison d’etre is to keep their Geordie neighbours in their place, the newly-promoted and well-oiled Mackem machine will be just five points off the Premier League pace being set by Arsenal if they beat Everton. And with Mikel Arteta’s team of bottlers due to visit the bubbling cauldron that is the Stadium of Light next weekend, the Black Cats could go into the international break positively purring.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’ve had one of the most incredible jobs in football which also had a higher purpose because it was my country. That’s going to be very hard to replicate. Having had 37 years in football I’m enjoying finding other areas where I think I might be able to make a difference” – it turns out Sir Gareth Southgate isn’t in a rush to return to a club job like Middlesbrough after managing England. The 55-year-old is doing the rounds before Thursday’s release of his book, ‘Dear England: Lessons in Leadership’, which presumably doesn’t have a chapter on Southgate putting 10 men behind the ball for 85 minutes against Croatia and letting prime Luke Modric absolutely run the game.
Leadership, you say? Photograph: Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
A few weeks back I listened to a discussion on the wireless about AI. A man informed that the limits of AI include the fact that ‘AI doesn’t have a sense of humour’. Imagine my surprise when it turned up in Football Daily” – Michael Lloyd.
As a Bournemouth fan I can assure you that the best AI tactics are Andoni Iraola’s” – Kelvin Baynton.
Given the current farago surrounding Crystal Palace’s impending fixture pile up, would it make more sense to redefine the Fizzy Cup as only being open to teams that have not qualified for Europe that season? This would help with potential fixture clashes, but more importantly it is likely to open up the competition and increase the chances of a ‘smaller club’ winning it. I doubt any of the bigger clubs would complain about being excluded” – Rob Burton (and no other sensible readers).
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