There are a lot of different kinds of industrial research organizations out there. Identifying them can be tricky, so I’ve compiled this field guide to help you out.

The Patent Factory Research Lab ** ** This is the classic model of research lab, and the main model that existed when I was a grad student in the late 1990s. Many of these labs no longer exist, or have transformed into one of the models below. Generally attached to a big company, this style of research lab primarily exists to bolster the parent company’s patent portfolio. A secondary mission is to somehow inform the long-term product roadmap for the parent company, which may or may not be successful, depending on whether the research lab is located 50 miles or a mere 15 miles away from any buildings in which actual product teams work.

*How you know you’re visiting this style of lab: *The main decoration in researcher’s offices are the little paperweights they get for every 20 patents they file.

The Academic Department inside of a Company Research Lab ** ** This model is somewhat rare but it does exist, and a couple of companies have done a superb job building up a lab full of people who would really like to have been professors but who really don’t like teaching or getting too close to undergraduates. This style of research lab focuses on cranking out paper after paper after paper and padding the ranks of every program committee in sight with its own members. Product impact is usually limited to demos, or the occasional lucky project which gets taken in by a product team and then ripped to shreds until it no longer resembles the original research in any way.

How you know you’re visiting this style of lab: It feels just like grad school, except everyone gets their own office, and there are a lot more Windows desktops than you would normally expect to see.

The Why Are We Still Here, Let’s Hope The CEO Doesn’t Notice Research Lab ** ** This type of research lab exists only because the C-level executives have either misplaced it or forgotten it exists. Researchers here are experts in flying under the radar, steering clear of anything that might generate the slightest amount of media coverage lest they blow their cover. When asked what they are working on, they generally mumble something about "the cloud" which grants them another two-year reprieve until another VP-level review comes around, at which time everyone scrambles to put together demos and PowerPoint decks to look like they’ve been busy.

*How you know you’re visiting this style of lab: *Nobody has the slightest idea what’s happening in the actual research community, and the project titles sound auto-generated. ** ** The It’s We-Could-Tell-You-But-We’d-Have-To-Kill-You Research Lab ** ** This type of lab deals exclusively in classified defense contracts. These labs all have innocuous-sounding names which evoke the Cold War and bygone days when it was acceptable, and even encouraged, to smoke a pipe while working in the lab. Projects are done under contract from some branch of the military and generally involve satellites, nuclear warheads, lasers, or some combination of the above. On the plus side, this is the type of lab where you are most likely to encounter alien technology or invent time travel.

*How you know you’re visiting this style of lab: *All project names are comprised of inscrutable acronyms such as "JBFM MAXCOMM"; nobody seems to have a sense of humor.

The "We Have a Research Lab Too" Research Lab ** ** This is the model exemplified by startup companies who are feeling jealous that they don’t have enough Ph.D.’s working for them and feel the need to start "Doge.com Research" to make their mark on the world. This generally happens the first time such a company hires an ex-academic and makes the mistake of putting them in any kind of leadership role. Projects in this kind of lab aren’t that different from regular work on the product teams, apart from the expectation that launching anything will take three times longer than a non-research team would be able to do.

How you know you’re visiting this style of lab: Hoodies with the word "Research" on them; free lunch.