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167 posts in the last 30 days

Over 200,000 Heated Socks Recalled Due To Burns

theonion.com·7h

U.S. Military To No Longer Require Flu Shots

theonion.com·1d

Regulars Angry Dive Bar Now Popular Enough To Be Financially Solvent

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Nation Enthralled By Adult Man With Huge Juicy Ass

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Red Light Therapy: Myth Vs. Fact

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Bottle Girl Nods As Kash Patel Screams State Secrets In Ear

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Hot Young Priests Soaked In Holy Water During Vatican’s Annual Wet Vestment Contest

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U.K. Passes Lifetime Smoking Ban For People Born After 2008

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Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’

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‘7 Days,’ Hisses Little Girl On Phone Call Welcoming Draft Pick To Jets

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RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger

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Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself

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Trump Conducts Marathon Reading Of Arby’s Menu In Appeal To Meat Lovers

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Study Finds Gen Z Drinking Fewer Flagons Of Mead Than Medieval Generations

theonion.com·2d

Grindr To Host White House Correspondents Dinner Party

theonion.com·3d

Humanoid Robot Beats Human Half-Marathon Record

theonion.com·3d

Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before

theonion.com·3d

Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest

theonion.com·3d

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Trump Posts Late-Night Truth Social Rant Claiming Circuses Not Violent Enough

theonion.com·3d

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