Why Can’t the Left Understand That a Politician’s Mysterious Illness Is Between Him and His Doctor?

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Let’s Drive This Friend Group Right Into the Abyss

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If Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator

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Reviews of New Food: Rice Krispies Treat Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwiches

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Novel GLP-1 Receptor Agonist Delivers Transition to Astral Plane

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America Kept Inviting Me to Her Birthday Party, But I Just Wanted to Take Her to the Hospital So She Can Get the Help She Sorely Needs

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Why the Taco Bell Meal for Two Is the Only Economic Indicator That Matters

McSweeney's Internet Tendency5 min read
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I Don’t Know What I Expected at President Nyarlathotep’s Great American Shitshow, but Color Me Disappointed

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USA: We Go Together Like…

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Survival Tips for Anyone Currently Being Hunted by Joey Chestnut

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Which Founding Father Are You?

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The US Constitution Is for Simple Folk Still Burdened by the Belief That Words Have Meaning

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July 4th

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On the Historical Significance of the Male Low Ponytail

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My Gen-Z Sitcom

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Democrats Need to Win Back Voters by Becoming Republicans

McSweeney's Internet Tendency4 min read
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How to Hustle Like a Tech Founder

McSweeney's Internet Tendency3 min read
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Reviews of New Food: Bush’s Rocket Pop Flavored Baked Beans

McSweeney's Internet Tendency5 min read
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The Proper Level of Enthusiasm for a Parent During Camp Dropoff

McSweeney's Internet Tendency4 min read
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To Solve the Housing Crisis, We Simply Need to Build More Homes (Just Not in My Town)

McSweeney's Internet Tendency4 min read
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